She - JJ & Emily

POV 15: Emily

I had been gnawing my nails all day. I hadn't heard from JJ, but that was expected. This was the day that was going to change the rest of our lives. To distract myself from worrying about her or thinking about how her and Wills conversation was going, I spent hours on my computer looking at apartments. I figured we could move in somewhere together. I would move out of my apartment. It would be a new beginning for us.
I thought of how we could decorate it. I loved minimalistic decorating but I know JJ would want it to be overly homey. To me that was so adorable. Sharing a home with JJ seemed so amazing. Never having to lay awake at night missing her, being able to kiss her every morning. Going to work together. In the past few months, it had become so clear that there was nobody else in the world for me but her. I had always loved her. And I was going to be able to spend the rest of my life showing her that.
At first, I felt so guilty that she was leaving Will. But she made it clear, she wouldn't be happy staying with him. Of course she wouldn't. It was her and I. Forever.
Around 10:00, I finally got a text from her.

Come to the lake.

A smile crept across my face and I shot up out of bed, practically sprinting down to my car. The lake was our place. Where we had our first dance. We went after the day she almost got shot, and I realized that I would rather be dead than live without her.
I know that it wasn't easy for JJ to leave Will, I would have to be there for her and console her. It was okay. We'd get through it together.
Right when I got to the lake, I saw her silhouette sitting in the grass in front of the water. I smiled and ran out of my car to her.
"JJ!" I exclaimed, and went to kiss her.
I stopped cold in my tracks when I saw her face.
My heart dropped.
Eyeliner was smeared everywhere. She looked like a mess. No, I thought. No. It could not have been good.
She looked up at me, tears rolling down her cheeks. She saw in my face I knew something was horribly wrong. I'd seen JJ cry a million times, but never like this. She looked hollowed out. There was no sadness in her tears, just a numbness that made my chest ache.
I wanted to run back into my car. Whatever it was she had to tell me, I didn't want to hear it. I wanted to slip back into the fantasy I was in only seconds before.
"Emily," she looked at me. She knew whatever she was going to say, would break us both. I could see it in her eyes. "I'm pregnant."
No.
I dropped to my knees and covered my mouth.
This was the end.
There was no longer anything for us to say to each other. There was no way out. She now had to do whatever it took to make it work with Will. She officially had a family. Henry had a sibling. She was in way too deep, and there was absolutely nothing I could do.
"I feel sick," I said, my voice cracking and tears escaping down my face. "I feel fucking sick."
Loud, angry sobs came out of JJ.
"I'm so sorry, Em." She weeped. I looked at her and had never seen someone look so lost. I started to cry. "God, I am so sorry."
She leaned over and started throwing up. Instinctively, I jumped up and held her hair back. Looking at the moon, all I wanted was a way out of the hell we were in. I wanted out I wanted out I wanted out.
JJ was practically howling into the night, her grief leaving its imprint on the sky.
When she was done throwing up, I slowly sat back down and looked at her.
"Did you even get to talk to him..." I asked. She shook her head and sniveled.
"They told me at the doctors." She said and her whole face crumbled. "He was so happy, Emily. I don't understand."
I didn't either. I didn't understand any of it.  I didn't know what else to say to her. I wasn't going to tell her to abandon her family. Even if I wanted her to do that, she never would. I couldn't tell her that I loved her, that would make the pain worse.
What is there left to say to someone when all the love you had for each other was set fire to in an instant? Absolutely everything, but somehow nothing at all.
"Well,"I slapped my thighs and stood up, reaching my hand out to JJ. "You should probably go home. It's late."
She got up and we looked at each other. My eyes watered and I looked away from her.
"Come on." I walked towards the cars. I stood by mine and watched her get into hers.
This was the end.
She turned around and looked at me. She got out of her car and ran towards me, throwing her arms around me.
"JJ." I cried, pulling her as close as I could. I felt her body shaking against mine. I didn't ever want to let go. I could feel my heart cracking open. It felt like it was going to bleed out.
Her sobs were choppy and loud and absolutely gutting. I smelled her hair one last time.
This was the end.
Her lips met mine, and our tears got in the way. Her face was so soft. My hands were on her cheeks, and I let them linger until she was completely pulled away.
She ran back into her car, and drove away.
My heart was irreparably shattered.
This was the end.