Free Will (Raven X BeastBoy)

Grief

My morning off from classes was amazing. I slept in about an hour later. I took my time getting dressed. My tea was brewed and I headed outside. I went to the tree outside my window. The crow was standing in the field. I gave the corvid a small wave and sat down. I put my tea near the tree so it wouldn't fall over. I cross my legs and close my eyes. I take a few deep breaths…

Then my phone rings. I forgot to turn my phone off. I normally do when I plan to meditate. I open one eye to look at the screen. It read mother. I sigh and answer the phone. "Hello." 

"Hello, am I speaking with Rachel Roth?" Asks a masculine voice.

"Yes?" I try not to sound too confused. 

"Ms. Roth I am terribly sorry to give you this phone call, but it appears Melissa doesn't have any other relatives. Melissa was in a car accident early this morning. She was brought to the hospital in critical condition but her injuries were too severe. She passed less than an hour ago." 

My entire world was crumbling. My eyes started to tear up. "What happened?" I manage to ask.

"She was in the wrong place at the wrong time. There was a gang drive by and she was an innocent bystander." The officer explains. "Do you know what your mother wanted to do with her body?" 

I take a deep breath. "Cremation." 

"What would you like done with the ashes?"

"You can send them to me." My voice was starting to get shaky. I don't know how much longer I could actually talk. I give the officer my university address and hang up. 

The tears came rushing out. I only just finished my first week of college and my mother is dead. Luckily it was the weekend and I could put my homework off for a few days. I just couldn't function right now. I grab my tea and go back inside. 

As I open my door Dick and Victor see me. They try to wave but I open my door and slip inside quickly. Kori was at class so I had the room to myself. I throw myself on my bed and just cry. The only family I had was gone. I knew my old neighborhood had gangs but I never thought it would lead to a shooting. 

I hug my pillow and cry myself to sleep. 

~~~~~~~~~

Kori came back and immediately started comforting me. I couldn't hide my emotions and frankly, I didn't want to. I was upset and I didn't have the energy to do anything. I was in bed for two days. Kori kept the others away so I could grieve alone. I was grateful. I didn't want to see anyone. 

It was Sunday and I finally had a little energy. I got up and looked at myself in the mirror. My purple hair was a mess, my skin was paler than normal and my eyes were red. I shrug a d make my way into the bathroom. I take a quick shower and brush my teeth. I make some tea and throw on some sweat pants and a tshirt. I grab my tea and head to the cafeteria. 

The cafeteria was busy as usual. I look around at the breakfast options but I wasn't really hungry. I end up just grabbing a muffin. I walk towards a table in the corner and sit down. 

I take the wrapping off my muffin and tear a piece off. I eat the piece and take a sip of my tea. Out of the corner of my eye I notice someone sit down in front of me. I keep looking at my muffin.

"Rachel." I hear, but I still don't look up. "Rachel!" Gar poked my cheek. I shake my head. He does it again. 

"Gar stop it. I don't have the energy." I look up slightly but not very much. I was hoping my hair would hide my face so I didn't have to answer any of his questions. 

"Rachel I haven't seen you in two whole days. We could have been gaming." He whines. 

"Like I said I don't have the energy." I eat another piece of my muffin.

"Come on Rachel." Gar puts his head on the table. "How are we going to get you better at video games if you never play?" 

I could feel my anger boiling now. I didn't even realize I was getting mad. I just ignore him. 

"Rachel." Gar whines again. "Come on." 

I snapped. "Gar, want you see I want to be left alone? Go bother someone who isn't grieving a parent!" I grab my muffin and tea and stand up. 

I caught a glance at Gar's face. It looked as if I had slapped him. I turn and head out of the cafeteria. I could hear footsteps following me so I started to walk faster. I walk into my dorm and go up the stairs. I stop in front of my door. I search my pockets for my keys. My hands shake as I try to put the key into the door. 

"Rach." Gar puts a hand on my shoulder. I try to shrug him off but he just squeezed my shoulder. Tears start to fall once again. I struggle to put the key in the door. Gar puts his hand on mine and takes the keys from me. He also takes my muffin and tea. My hands cover my face. I didn't want to be crying in front of him or out in the hallway. I couldn't help it. I was sad and people cry when they are sad. Gar wraps his arms around me. I turn and put my face on his chest. 

Gar held me as I cried. I don't know how long we stood there, but somehow his embrace did help me. I tried to focus entirely on Gar. His strong arms, his breathing and his scent. I could smell his deodorant. It reminded me of spring, but not too girly. "Thank you Gar." I say into his chest. 

"Of course Rach."