Dance Of The Dead // Andy Leo (RECONSTR)

18- You Don't Need No Man!

("Baby's got a thirst for blood")

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Well I guess since I'm half conscious now it's a good time to reflect on my life. I mean what better a time to do it than when I still can't see out of my own eyes

Growing up I.... always felt numb.

I thought that I could blame it on the love I never got from my parents.
I thought that I could blame it on the social rejection I received from my classmates and my teachers. I thought that the last time I saw my grandmother alive would be the last time I felt real pain towards anything

But wrong is a devil by any other name. One that is a betraying little bastard, though I don't think I can really hate him. Not when he's standing over me, staring absentmindedly at my chest

I'm not sure if he knows I'm woke and... It's actually kind of funny to catch him being a creeper. The look in his eyes warmed me slightly.

Genuine concern.

Who's even shown genuine concern for me? Maybe Caroline. Yeah. Caroline. The best friend who I've been treating rather harshly in the last few days just because I felt something different in her. People change all the time, it's inevitable. No matter what's going on with her I should be always supportive, as she has been for me

"Hi" Andrew whispered mortified after figuring out I'd caught him being a major creeper, even though I still remained lost in my thoughts about Caroline. I heard him; I just didn't care. I kept going over every memory we'd ever shared as if one of those life-or-death situations had appeared in my face and I simply needed to see everything one last time before I made my decision

It's funny that I know the meaning of love, I've just never felt it. My whole life revolved around trying to feel it, searching for that warmth in my parents; looking for a spark that I thought I could ignite. But it's never existed. And there's nothing I can do about that

Nothing at all

"Hello?" Andrew suddenly leaned down closer to me so that our noses touched. Close enough to give me déjà vu plus a bad case of what in the fuck am I doing anyway. Why am I just running around looking for love in everyone else. Scared of rejection if I give mine away.

And look here at Andrew... A very strange but beautiful creature who kidnapped me and dragged me to a janitor closet, where I may have assaulted him in some way by feeling for his nipples. He didn't so much physically hurt me, as the mention of blood sometimes make me go woo-woo, and my brain more than knows what blood feels like when it's doing a Sonic-type run down my leg, I've had to deal with this shit since I turned like thirteen. I guess my hips are a little sore where he tried to Wolverine rip my flesh off, and I think he may have planned the whole 'produce blood from Lucy to scare her parents for some odd reason' thing, but I'm not mad at him

I mean....now he's standing by my beside looking like hell hath showed him all of it's fury

His eyes flicker black as he inhales a deep breath, but they return to their beautiful deceiving brown as soon as he exhales. His chest rises, falls, and rises again. We breathe in sync, but for me it's a lot harder to remain steady. The feel of hot air on my face always makes me breathless, no matter the source. But maybe this once it's just because of him

He inhales another breath, but deeper than any of the last. Just from the way he nervously glances at me and then up at his his hair that has fallen over his eyes, over mine too, I can tell that he's got something up his sleeve. Planning... Waiting... For whatever reason, I can't figure it out