Crush Culture

Part 5

"Earth to Y/N" Lainey says waving a hand in your face. You must have zoned out, for god knows how long.

"Thinking about Tae?"

"What," she catches you off guard, straightening your posture and brushing yourself off before responding to her, "no...just thinking."

"Right," the sarcasm drips from her lips, turning away from you as she wipes off a table in the front.

For personal reasons, you've kept Lainey out of the loop during this whole fake-boyfriend Taehyung thing. It's better if you keep your feelings to yourself until you figure them out. And although it feels really really strange not giving Lainey the intel on what's going on in your life, you know it's for your own good.

Once you put what is in your head out into the world, you can't take it back. What if you are just in the honeymoon-phase? If these feelings for Taehyung are only because he's trying his best to woo you, and then they'll just fade away as things return back to normal.

Something in you tells you that this isn't the case, but the small shadow of doubt in the back of your mind keeps you from talking to your best friend about it anyway.

The thing is, you don't have to tell Lainey for her to know. Every time Tae picks you up from work to take you out you shine. Your smile spreads so wide she's afraid your cheeks will tear. The nervous shake of your fingers as you grab for your belongings as you head out the door doesn't go unnoticed in Lainey's eyes. She knows you too well to look over things like this, she just wanted to wait for you to say something first.

But now that you aren't, Lainey has decided to take matters into her own hands, asking you about it herself.

"Lainey," you start, waiting for her attention before you pull out a stool, sitting down and motioning for her to follow suit. She does, a questioning but knowing look evident on her face as she joins you. "You know how this thing between Taehyung and I is just an experiment or whatever?"

She nods in response, her hand quickly falling into her palm as she listens intently to your words.

"I think I messed up." Your head is buried in your arms, laid over the tabletop in embarrassment.

"What do you mean?"

Her question is more for clarification, she wants to hear you say it herself. She knows that you're gonna tell her you caught feelings. She sees it coming from a mile away, you confirming it is just the icing on the ice cream cake.

"Don't make me say it," you whine, neglecting to pick your head up and look at her. You can feel the grin on her face. You know she's smirking at you right now, doing her best to hold back a laugh. Finally, you got over your 'I hate love and relationships suck' thing.

"I have no clue what you're talking about," she sings, quite obviously teasing you while another deep sigh echoes from your chest. You manage to pick your head up, leaning onto your elbows with your chin caught between your palms as you face her.

"I like him."

It comes out as a whisper, but Lainey hears it loud and clear. If you didn't know better, you'd assume that the smile on her face can't grow any larger, but it does. She jumps up from her chair in victory, doing a funny dance with her arms whooping in the air to celebrate. You're confused as to why, but you're too far in your own thoughts to pay it any mind; your head just sinks back into your arms as your forehead presses against the cold metal table beneath you.

"I knew it," Lainey smiles, her happy dance subsiding as she sits back down across from you. "I knew this fake dating thing was gonna work.

"Yeah well it really worked, because now I have feelings for a guy that's never gonna reciprocate them for me."

Your tone is laced with sarcasm, a disappointing ring outlining each of your words. You're too embarrassed to look at the girl sitting before you, worried that if you do all the emotions you've been holding onto for so long will spill over and stain your stone-cold image; one you've maintained for far too long.

But Lainey's your best friend. The only one that you should be comfortable being vulnerable about your feelings for Taehyung with; for some reason all you can't bring yourself to be.

Before you can get a grip on your emotions tears are streaming down your face, falling onto the cold metal surface under you in small puddles.

A sympathetic sigh leaves Lainey's lips as she tries to gain your attention, "Hey."

Inhaling deeply, you face her – mascara strewn across your face in black streaks and eyes nearly bloodshot. You've held this in for far too long. Only a double would tire you out and exhaust you enough to cry on the clock. Thank God it's a rainy day, no customers ever come in on rainy days.

Or at least, no customers usually come in on rainy days. It's not until you hear the bells on the front door ring that you're wiping your eyes, whipping around to greet whoever was entering.

And then you see him, standing there as he shakes out his umbrella, a bouquet of sunflowers in his hand.

And he sees you; mascara running down your face and tears staining your cheeks. He's early. Your stomach turns at the sight of him, emotions not stable enough to handle carry a normal conversation like

"Y/N," his voice is quiet, worry dripping in his tone as your name leaves his lips. But you can't face him right now, not like this.

Your feet move faster than you mind, standing up and rushing to the back to avoid him. Taehyung doesn't follow you, just stands there and watches you walk away, solemn and worried that he's done something.

It's not until Lainey is rising from her seat and pacing over to him that he's brought back to reality.

"Taehyung," she starts, hands coming up slowly to console him, "I don't think it's a good idea for you to be here right now."

"Wh-What's wrong?" His lip worries between his teeth, eyes glossy as he stares at the door you just closed behind you. He's looking at it intently, mind flooding with worry, wishing so badly that the door will just fly open, and you'll tell him what was going on. In the back of his mind, he knows that you won't, at least not for now. Talking about emotions has never been your strong suit, and chances of that changing at this moment are at an all-time low.

Lainey is unsure how to answer him, caught in between not wanting to lie and keeping your feelings private. She doesn't want to speak for you; but she's scared of saying something that can make this situation worse.

Her mouth gapes as she searches for a response to his question, lips opening and closing and she hums to find the right words. They don't come.

The umbrella hanging from Taehyung's hand drops with a crash, starling Lainey as she jumps at the sudden sound. But before she is even able to speak, the bell to the front door is ringing again, and Taehyung is walking away into the pouring rain.