Centuries

Nine

Over the next few days, I keep busy. Since coming back to the bunker, I never once saw Michael. I didn't want to. Sam or Dean checks on him every now and then and there will be the occasional "He asked about you" or "He's wondering when you're going to come and see him." That last one, I could hear the jealously roll of Deans tongue. My answers were always the same. "Tell him I'm fine" and "I don't know." But the real reason behind me no wanting to see him was that I was scared to death that I would do something again. But I didn't tell that Dean. He had already been hurt as it is from what happened.

So, I stay away from that side of the bunker. I go out with Dean when he goes out on a supply run. Being out of the bunker and away from Michael, even though he's on the other side of the bunker, being far a way from him makes me feel like myself. Dean has even taken notice.

"Hey," Dean enters my room. "So, since things are super slow and we don't have any leads on Hezekiah, do you want to take a small road trip and stay at a crappy ass motel?" 

I look up from the crappy book I'm reading. "Crappy motel as in the walls are so paper thing that anyone can hear you beg me to do that thing you like?" Dean raises an eyebrow and smiles. 

"Yes but you might be the one they hear while you scream my name," Dean sits next to me and trails a hand up my leg. 

Giggling and standing up, I say, "Depends on who screams first, Winchester." 

"Oh, challenge accepted Y/L/N" Dean stands up and kisses my cheek, making sure that his lips brush passed mine before leaving. "Why don't we get packed."

Once packing is done, Dean and I meet in the kitchen. He is making sandwiches for the trip. I sit down as he slices up the tomatoes and lettuce and just watch him. The way he holds the food down to cut makes me jealous. I just want to feel those hands on my neck.

I guess I'm staring too long and too hard because Dean says, "All you have to do is say the word and your sexual suffering can be over." Dean has laid the knife down and has made his way towards me and gently takes my neck in his hands. I close my eyes and take a deep breath. "But, you will have to just wait until we get to the motel."

"What motel?" Sams voice rounds the corner. He has a few books in his hands. "You found a case?"

"No," I say, slipping away from Deans grasp. "Dean and I are just taking a small little road trip to who knows where. To get a break from the bunker. What are the books for?" I notice that Sam is holding a stack of books. 

"They're for Michael," Sam says looking down at the pile of books in his hands. "You see our world has books that his doesn't so I thought he would like to read them." He takes a deep breath. "I guess I should get these to him. He's been through books faster than I can."

"I'll take them," I say suddenly. Dean snaps his head towards me. "I should at least see him once before seeing if this blood binding thing does or doesn't affect me." I look at Dean whose eyes are full of worry. "Don't worry, I won't do anything. There are a few things that I want to ask him." At least I think I won't do anything, I think to myself. I really don't trust myself.

I take the books from Sam and make my way towards the room that Michael stays confined in. Never once has he ventured out. I stare at the door once I get to it. I could just drop the books and back out. I'm scared shitless that I could loose control over my body again and do something again to hurt Dean. 

"You don't have to go in there," Deans voice pulls me out of my thoughts. "I see the worry and fright in your eyes." 

I awkwardly move the books around and open the door and walk in.