A Universe Breakthrough (Girlhood Series#2)

16

I was staring blankly at the white wall of my unit as I let my head rest on Roshaun's chest. His left arm was resting around my shoulder while his right hand was playing with my hair. I did not know what to react. Hindi pa ako nakaka-recover mula sa biglaang back hug niya kanina, tapos ngayon ay ganito naman ang ginagawa niya sa'kin.

"I am sorry, Chalonna," he apologized for the fourth time already. "I shouldn't have said those words to you and I should have controlled my temper. Alam kong hindi sapat na dahilan 'yung pagiging frustrated sa Parasitology para gawin sa'yo 'yon. I know you are so mad at me but I am willing to do everything to achieve your forgiveness."

His words were hypnotizing me to feel mingled emotions. What he said to me was very upsetting, but the euphoria I was also feeling ruled when he showered me with physical touch.

"I couldn't stay mad at you, Roshaun. Alam mo 'yan." my voice broke.

The scariest thing I never wanted to happen finally took place – to Roshaun see how vulnerable I could be when it comes to him. I needed to prepare myself about the possible outcomes that might happen in the future. I knew there was a tendency he would toy with my emotions and take it for granted even without him knowing he did such thing. He was an ambiguous man who's scared of falling in love and committing.

"Hindi ko rin kaya magalit nang matagal sa'yo, Chalonna. Kahit na nakukulitan ako sa'yo madalas." his grey eyes were shining.

"Naiiyak ka ba?" naguguluhang tanong ko.

Ngunit laking gulat ko nang may pumatak na luha mula sa mga mata niya. I felt my heart throbbed and the next thing I knew, I was panicking and did not know what should I do.

"Oh my God, come here." I hugged his nape and let him rest on my shoulder. "It's okay. Everything will be okay. You can always knock on my door and cry on my shoulder."

My shoulder was starting to become wet because of his continuous tears. It was like a waterfall that's very hard to stop. Ramdam ko kung gaano kabigat ang nararamdaman niya, para bang sumabog siya at ngayon lang niya nailabas lahat ng sakit na iniinda niya.

Sa totoo lang, mas nasasaktan pa ako ngayon na nakikita ko siyang umiiyak kaysa sa sakit na dinulot niya sa'kin kanina. Hindi ko kayang makitang nagkakaganito siya.

"I feel exhausted in everything," he said after crying on my shoulder.

Tumalikod siya sa'kin at tinakpan ang mukha niya gamit ang mga kamay niya. I hugged him from the back, just like what he did to me when I was the one who was crying.

"Why? What's wrong?" I asked.

"Sobrang nakaka-frustrate maging pre-med student. Alam mo 'yung ginawa mo naman 'yung best mo para pumasa pero bumagsak ka pa rin? Parang hindi worth it 'yung pag-pullout ko ng all-nighter. Napakababa ng grade ko sa quiz. Tangina, nakakawalan ng gana mag-aral."

"What's your score ba?"

"11/50. Tanginang Parasitology 'yan. Equivalent pa naman 'yon sa dalawang quiz." napakamot siya sa ulo sa inis.

"May chance ka pa para bumawi sa midterms and finals. Ace those exams! Use your failure as a motivation!" I screamed enthusiastically while giving him a pat on his back.

"Nawawalan na talaga ako ng gana mag-aral kanina sa totoo lang. Pero noong nakita ko 'yung mga regalo mo sa'kin, na-realize kong kailangan ko pa lalo pagbutihin dahil may naghihintay sa'kin na white coat at stethoscope."

I flashed a smile. It was nice to hear that my efforts were appreciated. "Ibalik mo sa'kin 'yung coat mo after you pass the boards. Lalagyan natin ng RND."