5. Torn

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This takes place in Eclipse after Edward proposes. Enjoy.

I found myself in my usual sleep attire- ratty sweats and a large shirt. The same outfit I had worn to sleep for a long while now, even back in the Arizona heat. The sameness was comforting now as I laid in bed.

Everything would change now. Though I took the ring off rather quickly after just putting it on, I still felt the weight on both my hand and heart. I was happy, because Edward was. He got what he wanted. But I knew not everyone would be so pleased to hear of our engagement, and that weighed on my heart as well.

Renée would be disappointed in me. She spent my entire childhood teaching me how to live my own life and not be tied town. To wisen with age before doing anything this serious.

And Charlie, who disliked Edward more than I would think possible. He'd be angry, but not with me. Charlie would be angry with Edward. The boy who had caused so much trouble and instability in his only daughter's life.

I ran my fingers through my hair and laid back against the soft pillows of Edward's new bed. Biting my lip, I closed my eyes and sighed quietly.

"What's wrong?" Edward asked.

My eyes fluttered open. Edward sat on the side of the bed, a worried look in his eyes. He felt as if I wasn't happy.

"Nothing," I offered a small smile, reaching my hand out to him. He hurried to flip the lights off before joining me in bed. He stayed above the comforter.

I turned on my side, curled and ready for sleep to consume me. Edward hummed the familiar tune of my lullaby to soothe me.

I had trouble sinking into sleep. Jacob's face continued to pop into my mind. The pain it caused me to know that I was hurting him. It was horrible. Jacob didn't deserve pain or sadness. I knew that my decision would kill him.

I was selfish. And I knew that. But I was selfless, too. Give and take. Love and war.

I squeezed my eyes shut and tried not to think of the battle that lay before my family and friends.

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