Tattoo Girl and Middle Earth

11

Haldir brought us before Lord Celeborn and Lady Galadriel. Personally, I wasn't too thrilled to be seeing them, because Galadriel didn't strike me as the type of person I would get along with, hopefully I'm wrong. Also, I'm not sure if i can not laugh when Celeborn says, "Tell me, where is Gandalf, for I much desire to speak with him."

In case you were wondering, no I'm not paying attention.

"Tell me, where is Gandalf? For I much desire to speak with him."

Do. Not. Laugh. It's. Not. Funny.

Let's go back to not paying attention, that worked extremely well.

.

After an infinity and a half the incredibly boring meeting is over.

This is good for several reasons. The first being I almost fell asleep, the second is that now I can take a bath.

My hair is absolutely disgusting, as is the rest of me. Also I can't remember the last time I cleaned my glasses.

.

After my bath, I change into new clothes. A dark blue shirt, and gray pants had been brought to me as I bathed. I cleaned my glasses and only once they were on my face did I begin to decide what to do about my hair.

All the color had washed out, and it had grown out. It honestly looked awful, I can't even remember the last time I let it get that long.

It needed a cut. And I trusted absolutely no one to cut it. So after I got a scissors I proceeded to cut it into a style of my liking. I had always been the one who did my hair, so it wasn't difficult. To be honest it was one of the better jobs I'd done too. But there was only one way to know for sure.

.

They were all already there when I got back. And of course they all had different reactions to my appearance.

Boromir pretty much didn't even look up.

Aragorn did, raised an eyebrow and then went back to what he was doing.

Gimli didn't really care either.

The hobbits all told me I looked nice.

And Legolas didn't say a word, and turned away quickly.

Weird.

.

"What are they singing?"

We had been sitting here awhile, but the singing had only started a minute ago.

"A lament for Gandalf," I answer without thinking.

"You know elvish?"

Why did I say something?!

"Ummm, no."

"But you what they were saying?"

"Ummmm, no."

"Then how..."

"Please don't ask."

He stops hearing my tone. Good, I'm going for a walk.

I get up and leave the others, wanting to be alone. I pick a path at random, and somehow I end up at Galadriel's mirror.

"Hello River."

"Hi."

This is exactly where I didn't want to end up.

"Would you like to look in the mirror? I can't tell you what you will see, but perhaps it will answer some questions."

I do have a few questions that really do need an answer better than a theory.

"I guess."

I really don't want to look into it. I'm incredibly warry off things that seem otherworldly, if you read enough books you tend to be.

*this next part could be disturbing*

The water shifts and it no longer appears to be water. Instead I'm looking at my house, mom's crying on the floor off my room. It shifts again, and this time I see a gravestone. Oh my god! It has my name on it!

Then it shows me, looking exactly the way I did that day. I'm standing on the edge of a roof, looking down. I hesitate a second before jumping off the edge.

"I don't want to die," I whisper as I fall through the air, "I'll do anything, please."

Pain.

There are flashing lights and loud voices. They fade and I see Mr. Carter dressed in black next to all the taekwondo kids. I did this to them. It was me.

Alison, my favorite student, stands next to her mom sobbing.

I scream.

The water returns to its original look. I begin to cry. I had no memory of what happened. Never in any of my theories did I think I committed suicide.

But I did.

Galadriel is silent for a long time.

"Your desire to live even when you were about to die brought you here, River."

I nod.

Surprisingly she lets me leave. I guess we both know I won't be jumping off tall buildings ever again.

I stubble back the way I came and collapse against a tree. I can't face them. They'll never understand. I won't ever be the same person to them ever again.

All because of a one second decision.

I start to sob. Wrapping my arms around myself I rock back and forth.

"River?"

"No! Go away! You can't see me like this!" I half beg half scream at the person.

"River, look at me," he whispers.

I shake my head, the way a small child might when they don't want to eat vegetables.

He takes my chin and gently tilts my head so that I'm facing him.

"River, please tell me what happened," Legolas begs me.

I look elsewhere. Anywhere but at him.

"Are you hurt?" He asks, still looking straight at me.

I shake my head.

"River please, please tell me what's going on. I want to help you, River."

"You can't help! It already happened! It's done! I'm done!" My voice breaks and I begin to cry harder.

"River..."

"I died, Legolas! I was having the worst week of my life, so I jumped off a roof! I died but as I was dying I wanted to live, I said I'd do anything."

He doesn't say anything. I cry even harder, if that's possible.

"River, I... I do not know what to say..."

"Don't say anything."

"I feel as though I should."

"Please don't."

He nods and brings me to his chest, holding me close. I lean my head on his shoulder and cry. He doesn't say anything and just holds me as I cry.

We sit like this for a while.

"We need to get back to the others, you need to sleep."

I nod. For the second time since we've met each other I let him lead me away.

Please don't be mad!
I swear I almost cried writing this! My poor baby😭

-Deli