Good Old Fashioned Lover Boy

Chapter 5

Yesterday, Aziraphale had awoken in Crowley's bed, alone. He did entertain the possibility that the demon had slept with him but he had mostly let it go, as there were more important matters at hand. Matters, such as getting back to the bookshop and protecting Crowley from his illness.

He felt much better after a good sixteen hours of sleep and decided that he was quite capable of taking care of himself, thank you very much. Mostly, he just didn't want to annoy and/or infect Crowley, and, despite how the demon denied the possibility of these hypotheticals, he had decided it was best to go back to the bookshop. A routine consisting of reading, napping and... cocoa-ing was bound to get him back into tip-top shape.

Crowley was fine with this. He respected the fact that Aziraphale wanted to recover on his own. However, he couldn't help but wish there was more he could do. He often worried about the angel alone in his shop, intrusive thoughts of what if it's gotten worse? and what if he needs me? plagued his mind. He had been calling Aziraphale. Not a lot. Well. Not too much! He wasn't clingy. Well. He hadn't been clingy in the past... when he feared that Aziraphale didn't feel the same. If he was being completely and entirely honest he was rather clingy now.

They had talked on the phone four times yesterday, Crowley having initiated three of the four calls.

He called to make sure Aziraphale had gotten to his shop safely. He had. Transportation miracles were not hard. The angel had reassured him that he was sat upon his couch, under a blanket, with a book in hand and a cup of cocoa nearby. Crowley's heart had fluttered at this description. He could easily imagine the sight of his beloved all cozy and oh, how he wished he could slither up next to him. But all he said was, "Alright. Good then. I was just calling to... You're positive you don't need anything?" his tone shifting to reveal his concern. But Aziraphale assured him that he was ok.

Then Aziraphale had called. Crowley picked up the phone eagerly and heard the angel sounding as if he was rather lost in thought. He asked Crowley if he had enjoyed the eleven years they had spent together "preparing" for Armageddon. The question caught him off guard. He answered truthfully; "It was stressful. Quite a whirlwind. Lots of things happening very quickly," Aziraphale only hummed in response. After some consideration Crowley went on to say, "But there is no one else I would have rather eh... gone through all that with." He knew he hadn't given the angel a straight answer. He wasn't entirely sure if he had one.

But Aziraphale seemed to accept it, saying, "Looking back, I... I believe I took your company for granted. I was so wrapped up in other affairs I-"

Crowley interrupted what he rightly assumed was becoming a long and unhelpful rant by speaking softly, "Angel, don't. It was perfectly alright for you to be distracted with other things; it was the end of the bloody world! A lot was going on, it's ok that you weren't preoccupying yourself with my silly feelings," Crowley thought back on all of the insanity that was the eleven years leading up to armageddon't. There had been some times when Aziraphale hurt him, but he understood why. Heaven was awfully abusive, and Aziraphale just hadn't given up hope yet. He didn't blame him for that.

"But your feelings aren't silly, Crowley. They matter," Aziraphale sounded like he was nearing tears. Crowley felt his heart squeeze in his chest.

He gave a deep sigh, "I know. But your feelings matter too, angel. You shouldn't put them aside for others sake," there was a beat of silence. Crowley knew how emotional and nostalgic the angel could get, and all emotions are heightened when illness takes over. "You don't have to be thinking of any of this now. It all worked out! We're together, the world didn't end, and there are no hard feelings between us. There's no need to worry!" Crowley wished more than ever that he was there with the angel so that he could hold him, reassure him, and show him that his love for him was unconditional.