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y/n pov

I woke up with a bad feeling in my chest, right it was the inkigayo shooting today..
i'll meet taetae after years, i should be happy but i am scared, he hates me now prolly

>>>>

"y/n-ah let's go" jinyoung said as we marked the attendees and cross checked the script

"bts has arrived too" doyoung said marking the last column

and there, there he was, the love of my life walking in front of me, our eyes met and suddenly the world stopped

and there, there he was, the love of my life walking in front of me, our eyes met and suddenly the world stopped

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"let's go, we go live in half an hour" jinyoung said dragging me to the entry door past taehyung

>>>interview done

"urirang hamkegayo! anneyong!" we said in unison as we ended the show

after bowing to all the artists we made way to put dressing room, bts won so I could escape from taehyung

I could see his piercing glance on me as I exited the stage quickly

okay, let's hurry up and leave the venue

>>>

"..haha so that's what happened" jinyoung continued telling us the incident with his band members

we all laughed, they noticed me being unusual so both of them cracked jokes the whole day

thankyou is not enough

there was a knock on the door

and there he was, he looked at me coldly
"come with me kim y/n" he said using my real surname

shit

I couldn't protest and followed him blankly

and there we were, in a empty room

silence engulfed me

after what seemed like an hour, he spoke  directly looking into my eyes

after what seemed like an hour, he spoke  directly looking into my eyes

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"why" was all he said

and suddenly i turned mute

"why did you do this" he said coming close to me while I moved back until my back hit the wall

"WHY" he yelled slapping the wall beside me

"HOW COULD YOU Y/N? WERE YOUR PROMISES FAKE? HOW COULD YOU BE LYING TO ME ALL THE YEARS WE WERE TOGETHER HOW COULD YOU" he yelled being angry but I could see him being hurt in his eyes

He continued to yell all his frustration until I could take it

"IT'S FOR YOU" i yelled

he scoffed being frustrated

"FOR ME?" "STOP IT Y/N"

"I knew you lied to me taetae.." I said using his nickname and his eyes went moist

"I knew you were declining things because of me, because you had a girlfriend and your management didn't like it since you were just a rookie, even if we hid our relationship, they wanted to call it off" I said as a tear rolled down my eye

"please don't think that it was easy for me to let you go, i wanted to be selfish and didn't want to breakup with you. God, I loved you so much" I said letting my tears flow

he held my hands as a tear left his eye

"but everytime.." i said removing my hands from his

"everytime i saw you being so passionate with your career, you being so happy for even a small gig that you had, how wide your smile was everytime you told me about your schedule, I felt guilty, I cannot imagine taking your happiness away from you"

"that's why I wanted you to shine being the brightest star you were meant to be, for this I had to let you go.." i said looking above from the ground and right into his eyes that had tears flowing from them

"and I'm sorry if I broke your heart in this, it broke mine too.."

"you made the decision for both of us? Don't you think that was unfair? You should've told me everything, you knew I won't let you go but you didn't know, maybe I didn't cuz you were as much as important to me like my dream was?"

"you didn't even tell me the truth, you lied, saying you fell out of love, you said you found someone who makes you happier and I had to let you go cuz you wouldn't be happy with me, it still hurts, you could've told me, everything, why keep it to yourself, we could have tried to find a way that wouldn't be we losing each other "

" you knew how hard it was right? not only for me but for the guys as well? we were mocked, called names and what not but I kept going because you were my motivation, y/n, because I had you."

"I kept working hard because of you, but you.."

"you left me.." he continued

"you know, after that day I lost my hope, our comeback was postponed since I couldn't focus, I hated myself, I felt I wasn't good enough for you since you found someone else, someone better.."

"so I pushed harder, in hope that maybe one day, if you see me successful, you'd take me back"

"and until today, I still am, I still am waiting for you"

It was a mess, we were a mess, both of us crying.

"i knew Tae, I knew you loved me so much that you wouldn't leave me, so I had to leave you, Taehyung I was caging you.. If I had to let you breakfree, I had to breakup with you" I said

"so I made up lies, even if you'd hate me after this, even if I'd hate myself for this, for spoiling what we had.. I had to, I must." I said wiping my tears and catching my breath

"so I understand, you can hold this grudge against me, you can be angry at me, but I will never regret what I did, cuz.."

"cuz look at you know taetae, you've come a long way, you are who you always wanted to be" i said with a proud smile

"even if i can admire you from far, I'm happy cuz you are where you belong Tae, I'm happy for you, you have so many people who look at you as their inspiration, so many, you are the man you always wanted to be"

"but I lost you" he said "my dream was you being proud of me achieving my dreams, being with me throughout this journey"

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