THERE IS WATER IN THE SUN

témbeni

TW for Domestic Violence/References to Sexual Assault / Emotional abuse / Toxic relationship

for -juvenescent thank you for the support, it gave me the courage to continue writing when I had given up

boy says love me like i am everything there is, like there is nothing left but this. like you scream storms of lightning that ricochet off your insides and down my throat. says kiss me baby like this is fine. like hurting is the new name of love and we are aiming for the highest score. says punch me when this gets too much. aches too much. says i can make you cry when i want how i want. but love me. this is the love i know.

girl says love me like the rain scatters across the ground, muddy with traces of leaves that smell of you. like you protect the eggshells of my heart that are in your hands kiss them when they feel too heavy. says love me like the birds love the sky not because you want to but because there is no choice. yearn for me like the clouds yearn for more water to condense. carry me higher than the stratosphere. says like loving is a destiny and we are star-crossed bruised young lovers that can't remember why love is not a fight. but love me. this is the love i can show.

boy says love me even on the days when i don't know why you say no when you clearly mean yes. when you blurry the lines of consent and i kiss them and force feed my tongue down your throat. when i carry you to the walls of broken glass from mirrors punched in your name. love me as i kiss you with bleeding knuckles. kiss me as i cry into your tightening throat. love me because i can't think of what air is or why it feels like humidity. love me when i cause your screaming. just love me. this is love for me now.

girl says love me on the days when i run away to find butterfly bandages at the corner store. when i have to go buy ice at the local supermarket and use garbage bags to hold the melted water onto my fat lower lip. love me when i look butchered at your hands when i forget to love you like you want me to. when i cry for you to stop and you just dig your fingers into my ribs deeper till you create ruins of the empires i have cultivated. love me when i cause your crying. just love me. this is the love i give you.

boy says love me. love me love me. love me because leaving is no option. your escape is in my hands with my mouth on your skin and your legs pinned to this bed. love me like the savior i am not the captor you keep calling me. learn to love me with your hands tied to this heartbeat that wants to claim all your screams. learn to want this breaking. kiss me like you did when you thought this was summer rain and strawberry picking dreams, when you thought i was the pieces that fit into you not the pieces i carved myself into. love me because this love is feverish in my veins and you are no choice. you are no choice to love. i love you like this. love me.

girl says love me like the days when summer nights met comets and glistened into shooting star like flashes across our eyes. like the nights listening to static on the radio and making lyrics that made us laugh. love me like the boy who bought me flowers because they reminded him of my smile. where is that boy that loved me when the world was caving? love me like you did when you thought you could lose me.

If you are experiencing any form of abuse/violence (whether emotional/physical) please contact someone you feel comfortable explaining the situation to or reach out to https://www.therapyroute.com/article/helplines-suicide-hotlines-and-crisis-lines-from-around-the-world

here you can find resources from around the world that may help you, please take care everyone, as someone who has experienced situations like this i know what the fear of leaving is like but you are strong, you are brave, and you are never alone.