Lovebirds

eight

She found it. 

By the grace of Allah, she managed to skim through multiple chapters of her father's book. That was until her eyes fell on the words that broke her heart into a million pieces, shards of glass poking at her skin until she felt the blood that her father saw when he decided he could not live anymore. 

He thought of suicide. 

She didn't sleep at all as she replayed the chapter over and over again in her head like a broken record. Never did she imagine such a cruel darkness to overwhelm her father's youth. Never did she consider the indignant flames that burned him before he chose Islam as his path. 

Over and over again, she saw her father's kind, gentle face crumble into ashes as he lost his identity and faith. The catalyst to his spiral was from his own family, her paternal grandparents. 

Naira inhaled a sharp breath when she heard the door to her grandfather's office open, his footsteps echoing through the room like thunder, and her heart sank. It can't be true. Surely that character in Dad's book isn't Grandpa. 

Her father changed the names in his book, but the dynamics were all too familiar. She never gave much thought to her parents' history, and now she realized how much they sacrificed, how often they suffered to have their family. 

She took them for granted. 

Her grandfather rounded the corner of his desk, settling in his leather chair with a bright smile. "How's my dove today?" he asked, logging onto his desktop. "I hope the workload I gave you is reasonable."

"It's fine."

"Are the boys giving you any trouble?"

"No."

At this, her grandfather's brows drew up, a worried visage facing her as his ocean blue eyes met hers. His typing stilled. "Is everything alright?" he asked. "You know if anything is wrong, you can tell me. I am your grandfather before your boss."

A sharp pulse of fury raced through her like a flash, and her dark eyes challenged his gaze, surprising him. She bit her tongue to refrain from lashing out like a panther striking its enemy.

"Naira?"

Consequences be damned. "Is that what you told Dad before he thought about ending his life?" she questioned harshly, venom dripping off her lips. "Did you give him a false hope just for this business?"

He visibly paled, skin lighter than snow as horror etched across his face. Recomposing himself, he cleared his throat. "I see. Did you and your father talk?"

"He didn't tell me anything. He didn't have to for me to see the truth."

"Naira-"

She shook her head furiously, unable to contain the fire within. "All this time, I thought people were wrongly interpreting my family. I thought they were spreading rumors because they couldn't understand my parents, but it was never that. It was never about what they thought about Ammu and Dad. It was always about what you thought of them!"

Her grandfather sighed, rubbing his temple. "Naira, you know I love your parents."

"Then why didn't you clarify the misconceptions? Why didn't you defend their honor and what they did?"

He brought his gaze to meet hers, a frigid glare entering the icy blue. "Careful with those accusations, Naira. You are digging up a past that should be left behind," he warned, voice low and grave, a chilling stop to her heart.

She clutched the armrest. This was a new territory she was entering, bumpy grounds that she stuck her heel in. But she was tired, exhausted from hearing the whispers, watching people value her self-worth because of the damage her grandfather did in the past. Deep down, she knew he changed.