Botan -Peony- Vol.2

6

I dipped my face in a bucket of water by the well. It had been a while. I got out of the water to breathe. I stared into the bucket and saw reflection of my reddened face and the shining moon. Stuck in mud of disbelief, my hands went up to smack myself on cheeks. It was beyond my imagination that things would take such a sharp turn. My supposed marriage was settled and I regarded it as a matter of extinction. It came back like karma. No matter how many times I washed my face, I couldn't cool my head.

What does he see in me anyway? An abandoned pup? Wondering as I dipped my face back into the water, I didn't sense any presence—or rather, I was too focused in my own feelings that I neglected everything else. I could feel someone bobbing my shoulders violently in desperation.

"Sayo!" It was faint but I could hear someone shouting my name as I was shaken away from the bucket of water. "What are you doing?! Why are you doing stupid thing?!" It was Heisuke. He looked very anxious, making me wonder what stupid thing he was referring to.

"What?"

"Don't 'what' me! Are you trying to suffocate to death just because Hijikata-san said something harsh to you the other day?" Heisuke took strong grip my shoulders, shaking me slightly yet firmly.

"I was just...washing my face though." I hoped the redness on my face had faded with that one dip.

"Wait... You weren't trying to commit suicide?" Heisuke asked, still looking concerned.

"No? What makes you think so?" Did I look desperate for death?

"Well, duh! Everyone would think the same when they see you dipping your face a bucket of water!!" Heisuke barked. After that, he made a heavy sigh.

I felt kind of bad for Heisuke because at that point I wasn't listening anymore. I was shoved into the depth of my own turmoil—reminiscing what Itou had said.

'No. As my wife.' Itou said, smiling gently and unabashed of his words. Seeing how stunned I was to hear it, he continued, 'To be honest, I disagree with you staying in Shinsengumi. You are risking your life by staying here. Shinsengumi is full of men filled with vigour. This is just a possibility... but I don't want you to risk your honour. At least, let me protect your honour as a woman.'

With each sentence he spewed out of his mouth, my head spun in massive speed that I couldn't comprehend what he was trying to explain. However, I did understand what he said afterwards.

'I can fully understand why you want to stay here. Still, it is dangerous for an unmarried woman to be here. At least... I can provide you a private quarter. You can stay there and not worry about anything. I swear I will not touch you. Our marriage will be just a mere status.'

Up to that point, I could accept. I thought I could swallow what he had said. I was wrong.

'If you think you are ready, I don't mind making it official. Sayo, I want to protect you. I really do.'

It made my temperature surge and I immediately made a bee line and disappeared from his sight.

"Heisuke... What do you think I should do if someone said that he wanted to marry me?" I asked; returning to senses.

"That's why—eh? Marry?" Heisuke was interrupted. "Hmm... Well I don't really understand from a woman's point of view but... if he's a nice man then I believe you should! Someone like, Itou-san?" What a coincidence for that name to come out of his mouth and at such timing.