Save Me (still working on the cover)

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There is an entire conversation about self harm/ abuse. The mentions of it are VERY brief, but the conversation is geared towards it. Just a warning if any of y'all need it

"Hey Damian" CJ said and I nodded and looked up at him from my phone. I leaned back into my locker and waited for him to speak. "Can we talk" he asked me and I furrowed my eyebrows, confused, but I nodded anyways. He grabbed the chair that was beside me and he pulled it to be in front of me.

"What's up" I asked him as I tossed my phone in my bag to show that he had my full attention.  He hesitated before finally speaking.

"You don't still cut right" he asked me and my whole body tensed up as he asked the question. I glanced down at my wrists and then put my hands in the pocket of my hoodie.

"How do you know" I asked him softly and he shrugged.

"I just looked" he said and I raised my eyebrows. "Not that I suspected it or anything, I just noticed one day" he added.

"Oh" I said softly and he gave me a soft smile.

"You wanna talk" he asked me and I sighed and stood up.

"Not really" I said as I grabbed my gym bag off the floor and attempted to leave but he caught my hand as I was walking away.

"I'm here if you wanna talk" He said and I nodded before I jerked my hand out from his and walked out. He can't learn that about me. It'll change how he thinks of me, and I like what we have right now. I don't want him to start judging me like everyone else has, I just want our friendship to be normal and for him to look at me as a normal human. Something deep down inside of me was telling me something different though. Something was telling me to tell him, to trust him with the secrets that I've never told anyone. That something inside of me was telling me that he would keep them and not tell anyone. I let myself debate on what to do all the way to my house. I didn't have much time to decide anymore when I heard a car pull into my drive way, and when I looked back I recognized it as CJ's. He got out and jogged to the door so that he could come in with me.

"Hey" I said softly as he stood beside me waiting for me to open the door. "I kinda brushed you off earlier and it was kinda a shitty thing for me to do. You were just trying to help." I said and he smiled.

"You don't have to talk about it or anything" he said "if your not comfortable with it." he added and I smiled.

"I have to tell someone" I said with a soft hint of laughter in my voice. "So I guess your the lucky person I chose." I added before realizing what I had said, and when I did it hit me hard. I was about to tell him something that I've never told anyone before.

"Ugh I hate being that person" he said sarcastically and I smiled. I opened the door and motioned for him to walk in. I felt my posture change from relaxed to tense as I sat down on the sofa and he sat down in the chair diagonal from me. "So" he said slowly and I smiled. "You wanna talk" he questioned and I chewed on my lip for a few seconds before answering. 

"I don't know" I finally said "I thought that telling you was a good idea cause I could finally get it off my chest and tell someone, but I don't know about that anymore."

"Finally" he questioned and I nodded softly.

"Yeah" I said slowly "I've never talked about it to anyone before." he nodded and leaned back into the chair.

"Ok" he said "well, I'll be a good listener." I sighed and looked down at the ground before looking back up at him. All the memories that I tried to forget about came flooding back as I was deciding what to tell him and what not to tell him. I knew the pain was already written all over my face, he didn't need to say it, I knew. I've gotten that comment to many times before.