Plain Sight

Memory Lane

         Danny pulled the collar of his shirt up high on his neck, and plunged his hands into the pockets of his blazer, determined to protect himself from the chill of the November afternoon. Despite the promise of winter hanging in the air, it felt good to be outside; it felt good to clear his head.

         Danny sighed deeply, the icy air flooding his lungs and calming his racing pulse. Things with Paul seemed to be growing more and more difficult by the day. Paul had been moodier lately, more anxious. Danny couldn’t understand the change in him. Maybe the fame had finally gone to his head- Danny wasn’t sure. All that he was sure of was that the Paul who had ridiculed him just moments earlier was not the same Paul that he had known since childhood.

         The sun sank low over the winding streets of Phoenix, Maryland, its last rays like dying fingerprints upon the pavement. How had it come to this? He continued to ramble aimlessly down the country road, not knowing where he was going and not particularly caring where he ended up. He remembered the good times, back when he and Paul had first broken into internet stardom. Paul had been shy then, and also the best friend that anyone could ever ask for... Especially after all that had happened to Danny’s own mother.

         Danny pulled his blazer tighter about him, as if using its embrace to fill the void he felt deep in his core. His mother had been gone for five years now, and he still could not think of her death without tears springing to his azure eyes. He wiped a quick hand across his face, trying to erase the incriminating trace of moisture on his cheeks. Sometimes, he felt that Paul’s friendship had been the only thing to get him through the tragedy.

         “God, Mom, what do I do about this?” Danny spoke out loud, desperately hoping for some kind of reply, but of course no answer came save for the babbling of the nearby creek.  

         He bent down and plucked a smooth, grey rock from the side of the road. Mustering all of his strength and frustration, he flung it as hard as he could into the water, breaking its smooth, liquid surface. If only he could just talk to again her for a few minutes, she would know what to do about Paul’s moods.

         Danny looked out over the creek as the sun slipped below the edge of the earth. He should be heading back soon, he knew; he did not want to be stuck miles from the house after sundown.

         He turned in the direction of the house and began walking, cold beginning to creep into his bones and numb his body. It was a welcome kind of numb, he decided; the physical discomfort distracted him from the thoughts racing through his mind.

         In his pocket, his half-frozen hand closed around a folded piece of paper, and he smiled to himself despite his agony. Months ago, he had begun keeping pieces of fan mail in the pockets of each of his jackets, so that he might have something positive to lift his spirits when he started thinking too much. It was good to know that someone appreciated him- especially with how distant and ungrateful Paul had been lately. He pulled out the small square of paper and opened it with shivering fingers.

         His quickly glazed over the hand written letter with its curly, looping hand writing. His eyes plucked a few words from the three paragraphs: “awesome,” “cute,” “perfect.” He felt a surge of love in his heart for the note’s author, though he had never met her and probably never would.

         Feeling a bit more optimistic, Danny lifted his head and dabbed the last of his tears off with his sleeve. He couldn’t go on moping, not when there were fans to please and inspire- and he knew that he would have plenty of opportunities to make a difference in the lives of his fans at the meet-and-great party down town tomorrow night.

         He quickened his steps, eager to get inside and warm up his frigid limbs. He would have a cup of hot chocolate and maybe make a video of his own when he got back, he decided. Hell, maybe he’d even plan his outfit for tomorrow night’s party... or even open up another jar of Nutella.  

         The house lights appeared like a light house in the shadowy distance. Their glow and warmth seemed to call to him, despite the unfriendly greeting that Danny knew he would receive from Paul. Danny took one last moment to breathe in the fresh air before climbing the front steps and reaching for the door handle. He prepared himself for what awaited him inside.  He would have to figure out some way to talk to Paul about his behavior; they had been through too much to jeopardize their friendship.