Lights, Camera, Rumblefish!

Ch. 14

Ch. 14

"Rusty James, I'm just asking you to please be careful," Dennis said, smoking through his cigar.
"You know, I saw that Cassandra chick. She said she wasn't hooked," Matt said.
"You know what happens to people who don't believe Cassandra?" Mickey said.
"The Greeks got 'em," Dennis said. Matt laid belly down on the mattress.
"Why the fuck do the Greeks have to do with anything?" Matt said.
"Cut!" Francis said.
"Do it again," he said. I stood at the door, crossing my arms.
"The fuck your issue with him?" Susie came up next to me.
"The stupid scene with the fuckin girls and the naked guys and the oil and shit," I said.
"And?"
"It's not really a comfortable situation."
"Well, you know, you gotta trust him," she said.
"Wow thank you for your advice. I think I'll just get through it with a bottle of wine and a tape, I don't need any advice."
"Essie, you just have to trust his judgement, that's all. You also have to see what's happening."
"No, I'm going to the house and I'm having some wine and a tape," I said.
"Sure. Okay."
"I don't even know if I want to be with him anymore," I said.
"What?!"
"I don't even know if I want to be with him anymore."
"What the fuck?! Why?! Come here! Why?!"
"Because we don't do anything productive anymore. All we do is bicker and scream," I said.
"Okay, that's because you're engaged."
"And what happens when we're married?"
"You'll just bicker like any couple would."
"Not a verbally abusive relationship like ours."
"You really feel it's verbally abusive?"
"Yeah."
"Well, I'd give it a little more time."
"Sure," I said.
I stayed in a hotel the next couple nights leaving my explanation to Matt from Susie and David to take care of the dog. I had some alone time, some time to drink and think. I slept mostly. I thought sometimes. And not a single phone call came from my hotel room. You, are the night, I thought. You are the only darkness shining from the sun. An eclipse. Matt came by one day and we got in a screaming match and I have to pay for new locks on the door. Mickey was the only person I allowed in. He brought booze, I brought the conversation.
"You know, it's lonely on the set. People fall and no ones there to stitch them up," he said.
"Sure."
"It's quieter. Like how the city falls at dusk."
"Okay, Motorcycle Boy."
"Look, you just have to get totally hammered and then you'll go back to him," he said.
"I don't know if I will."
"Why wouldn't you?" He asked calmly.
"Because I'm kind of tired of the constant yelling and screaming."
"It's your decision ultimately."
" I know."