scripted reality (jay halstead / upstead / one chicago (cast))

chapter 12

"5021 George, I'm taking heavy fire. I got two civilians down in the north alley behind the building." I heard screams, and when I located their source, I saw Hailey kneeling by the side of a girl that was bleeding heavily. "What happened?" I asked. "I'm gonna call an ambulance." Out of nowhere, Voight appeared beside me. "Spare yourself the trouble," he said. "She won't make it."

I looked at him. "What?" He shrugged. "She won't make it," he repeated. "Also, the bullet was a nine millimetre." I turned back to Hailey and the little girl that had been alive in her arms just seconds ago, but they were gone. "You saying I shot her?" I asked. I was certain I had done nothing wrong, but for some reason, I knew the answer. Yes. I shot her. I started to panic.

When I glanced over at Voight again, waiting for his unequivocal confirmation, he was gone as well. Instead, I was staring at a black man. I felt anger build up inside me because I knew damn well that he was the one who killed those two little innocent kids. All we needed was his confession.

"I ain't no angel, but I ain't no killer either! And I ain't gonna tell you otherwise!" he shouted. Ignoring his words, I put my signature under the committal forms and handed him over to one of the guards at County. I had a bad feeling, but I couldn't place it. We knew with certainty that this was the guy. "You let me know when you're ready to talk," I said. He stared back at me furiously. "It ain't me, man! I've told you it ain't me!"

Out of nowhere, someone handed me a tablet and I pressed play on a video on the screen. It showed the same black man walking inside a building. I immediately knew it was the time of the murder. "Oh my god," I whispered. We had the wrong guy. "Jay, he's gone," a woman's voice spoke. I didn't have to look up to know it was Trudy. "Marcus West. He didn't make it. He's dead."

Just like that, my whole world collapsed. It was my fault. I put him in that place, and I was responsible for his death. I lifted my head up to face Platt, simply because I couldn't keep staring at the video any longer. But when I did, another woman was standing in Trudy's space. Angela. The poor wife of the innocent guy. Her eyes filled with tears, but I could still see the dangerous mixture of sadness, anger and desperation behind them. "You deserve to die," she hissed.

Suddenly, she was pointing a gun at me, but before she got to fire, I turned around at hearing another voice. "You make me sick." I immediately recognized the pretty woman. "Camila." My heart broke at seeing how hurt she was. "Get away from me," she shouted. "Don't you hear me? Get away from me. Now." I knew I fucked up. Not only did I lie to her, I was the reason her brother died, too.

I was suddenly leaning over Luis motionless body, trying to bring him back to life. "Jay." Someone called out my name, but I barely took notice of it. Out of reflex, I pulled my weapon, pointing it at the person in self-defence. My vision was blurry, and my mind wasn't in the moment, it was on the battlefield. "Jay," I heard the person call out again, more aggressively this time. "Jay."

Finally, I managed to focus, but I was still unable to process anything. I was looking at Hailey, who was staring back at me with the most shocked and worried expression I had ever seen on her face. Then I realized I was pointing my gun at her and lowered it carefully. I turned to the dead body beside me, and I simply couldn't take it. This couldn't be happening. It was all too much.

I must have somehow finally fallen asleep, although I couldn't tell if I had been out for minutes or hours. When I woke up, my whole body was covered in sweat, and my head was throbbing. My heart was beating incredibly fast, while at the same time, I was completely calm. I felt guilt, anger, sadness. Everything, and nothing at once. A certain numbness that I had become accustomed to in recent days. What the hell was this?