Agents of Shield One-Shots

Fly me to the moon and back

The Philinda Valkyrie AU no-one asked for. 

PS. I know Valkyries are historically women but for the purposes of this fic they can be men as well. Yay for artistic license!

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Melinda May was 24 years old when she first met Phil Coulson. She was stuck in a warehouse, the enemy raining bullets down on her as she desperately attempted to find cover. 

Shouts of surprise interrupted her. The bullets abruptly stopped. May risked a glance at the other side of the warehouse, only to be blinded by a winged figure outlined in bright light. Her mouth fell open even as she covered her eyes with her arm. 

What was that?

The light slowly dimmed, until Melinda was able to open her eyes. She gaped in shock as she realized that there was a young man methodically tying up her opponents. He turned to look at her. 

"Oh, hello! You must be Melinda May," he said. "I'm Phil Coulson." 

His white feathered wings flapped once and he vanished in another flash of light, leaving May in shock. 

How would she explain this to Director Victoria Hand?

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Valkyrie Phil Coulson knew he wasn't meant to form attachments with humans. As Head Valkyrie Nick Fury always said, there was no point in becoming friends when Valkyries were supposed to deliver them to the afterlife. But he just couldn't help himself when he saw Melinda May. She seemed so brave, so committed. He couldn't just let her die. So against all protocol, he stepped in and saved her life, leading up to him sitting outside Fury's office, waiting to be chewed out. 

Fury's office door opened with a dramatic gust of wind, his gruff voice drifting out. "Come in, Valkyrie Coulson."

Inside the office, Fury was sitting behind his desk, fixing Coulson with a strict one-eyed glare. 

"Explain."

"Explain what, Head Valkyrie?" Coulson asked innocently, trying his best to avoid the subject. "If you're asking about why there's a shortage of toilet paper, it's because the younger Valkyries used it for a prank on the Valkyries in Training."

Fury sighed. "You know perfectly well what I'm talking about, Coulson. Why did you save that woman? I thought I taught you better than that."

Coulson stiffened. Okay, so Fury knew what he had done. Maybe he could lie his way out of it. "What do you mean save her? She saved herself," he told his boss. "She beat up all of those bad guys. It was actually really cool to watch."

"Oh really?" Fury said, rolling his eyes. "Sorry, Coulson, but you've forgotten that in cases where valkyries are called, death is imminent for the human unless divine intervention occurs."

Coulson had the grace to look a little guilty. "Okay, you got me. It's just that she's a SHIELD agent, you know? Peggy Carter founded that agency," he told Fury, completely fanboying. "Peggy Carter, who worked with Captain America in World War 2!"

Fury gave his protege a fond look. "Just don't do it again, or I'll assign you to paperwork."

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The second time Melinda met Phil was when she was 26. Two years had passed since their first meeting, but May still thought about Phil Coulson from time to time. Her surprise was palpable when she encountered him once more. 

She had been assigned on a mission to the Hunan province in China, and was astonished to find that the 0-8-4 she was ordered to retrieve was a baby. May was holding the baby in her hands when a man jumped out at her. He was disheveled, with a manic look in his eye. He brandished a scalpel in one hand like a weapon, stabbing it out towards her. May turned away instinctively, curling herself around the baby like a shield. She tensed, expecting the scalpel to stab her, but seconds passed with nothing happening. Finally, she turned around. 

Bright white wings separated her from the man.

"Phil Coulson?" she exclaimed, surprised. Coulson turned around to face her. 

"Oh, hello," he said to her as he touched the man gently on the shoulder. The man faded out in a series of pixels. Coulson glanced at May's shocked expression. "Oh, don't mind him," he said to May. "I just sent him to the nearest police station."

May recovered quickly. She took a step back, drawing out a dart gun with one hand and pointing it at Coulson. "How do I know I can trust you?" she asked. As an agent of SHIELD, she had encountered too many enemies who initially appeared trustworthy. 

"Well, I did just save your life," replied Coulson, smiling. "Twice, if I may add. That scalpel would've gotten you in the neck. I can't believe you still remember me, by the way!" 

May gave him a look. "It's not everyday a man with wings appears out of nowhere."

Coulson laughed. "You've got a point," he said. "Well, seeing as we've never formally met, I'm Phil Coulson." He stuck his hand out for Melinda to shake. 

May shook it. "I'm Melinda May, Agent of SHIELD."

Coulson gasped. "I know! SHIELD is so cool! Have you ever met Peggy Carter? Or Captain America? He came out of the ice, what was it? Two months ago?" He started on a rant of questions, occasionally sharing tidbits of information about the agency that even May didn't know. 

"Wait a second," May interrupted, somewhat hesitantly. She had to admit his fanboying was kind of endearing. "How do you know I work for SHIELD? And how did you know my name when you first met me?"

He smiled secretively. "Let's just say it's my job. Which reminds me, I've got to go back, my boss will be waiting for me."

He dissolved once again into light, leaving May gaping at the space where he stood. 

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"You're assigned to paperwork for the next year," Fury told Coulson, shaking his head. "And no vacations to Earth."

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"Agent May. You're smiling," Director Hand remarked. 

"Am I?" May questioned sarcastically. "I hadn't noticed."

Hand raised an eyebrow at her. "Is it because of your 'mysterious saviour?'" she asked, putting air quotes around the words. 

May turned red. "Nope, not at all," she denied, almost too quickly. "And he's not that mysterious. He's a complete Captain America fanboy, for gods' sake. He asked me if I could get him a signature!"

"So you're expecting to see him again," said Hand. "Next time you meet him, ask if he's willing to be put on the Index. If not, we'll need to start tracking him down."

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Coulson may not have been able to go to Earth, but he was still able to keep an eye on May from afar. Occasionally, when he was done with work, he would check up on her. He realized he really enjoyed watching her fight, with the way she took people down looking almost like an elaborate and deadly dance. The two of them went on with their lives, with Coulson working through piles of paperwork while Melinda succeeded in one mission after another. 

One day, Melinda got called to Bahrain. Coulson only had a day left of being assigned to paperwork. 

Coulson could only watch as she got shot by an opponent that she hadn't seen, even as she saved her team and the little Inhuman girl. He watched as she bled out, knowing that he couldn't do anything. He saw Fury himself go down to retrieve her soul. He knew he would never see her again. 

The next few days passed in a daze, as he went back to retrieving souls. He tried to put Melinda out of his mind, but her witty sarcasm and hidden warmth stayed with him. 

One day, he got called into Fury's office. 

"Coulson, I have someone I'd like you to meet," Fury told him. 

A figure stood at his window, black feathery wings unfurled. She had a friendly smirk on her face. 

"Melinda," he breathed, unable to believe who he was seeing. 

"Hi, Coulson."

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Okay this was so bad I'm sorry I hate this so much. 

-browneyedgenius