broken as i • a kylo ren story

x (xxix)

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you woke up at your usual time, and changed right into some training clothes. you decided you wanted to do some meditating since all you could think about was kylo and your interaction with him, so you went out the door and started walking over to your regular meditating spot.

before you reached the designated place, you started thinking about it all. the family photo. the gold dice charm. the force link. kylo. kylos eyes.

you had just stopped thinking about it, yet here you were. then it kind of hit you-

that boy in the photo looked real similar to kylo.

kylo never talked about his family to you. did he even have a family? were the people in the photo them? all of these questions arose in you quickly, and your emotions swiftly shifted from pain and anger, to curiosity and interest.

suddenly, you felt yourself turn back around and head for your hut. when you opened the door, you subconsciously grabbed the photo and headed back out the door.

you ran over to the place and sat down with your legs crossed. before you closed your eyes, you looked down at the photo and reviewed it with concentrated eyes.

"show me who these people are" you whispered, then shut your eyes.

you felt yourself lifting from the ground as you clutched onto the photo tightly. your breathing was steady and your mind was clear for once.

and then you saw it.

luke, standing over what appeared to be a younger looking sleeping version of kylo with a...green lightsaber in his hand?

you recalled luke telling you that the only reason why he knew kylo was because he was a monster, but he never mentioned anything like this.

you knew that this wasnt a dream. you knew this was a vision because you were experiencing the same feelings you were when you had that other vision about your family being dragged onboard the finalizer.

why would luke lie to you?

even though he didn't technically lie to you, it sure felt like he did.

in an instant, you saw kylos eyes open and his lightsaber fly to his hand. he ignited the saber and out came a glow stick of blue light.

you were confused about why it was blue instead of his signature red, but this whole thing confused you so you tried to not dwell on it.

suddenly, the green and blue lightsabers crashes against each other and the tension in the air rose immediately.

"ben, no!" luke shouted out.

you instantly opened your eyes and dropped back down to the ground, struggling to breathe. tears filled your eyes and sweat covered your entire body- just like how it did when you saw the vision of your family. you looked down with blurry eyes and saw your hand shaking with the photo in it. a tear fell right onto the face of the little boy, and you promptly let out a huge gasp.

everything clicked- well, almost everything.

kylo, the little boy in the picture, the young man in your vision, ben- it was all the same person.

you had never heard anyone call kylo 'ben' before, so maybe it was a nickname or something? or maybe kylo wasnt even his real name?

you started to doubt everything that everyone had every told you since the moment you stepped onto the ship you almost started calling home.