samantha and i were out shopping when i saw a guy with the same mop of curly hair that another boy i know has. i froze, holding my hand out to stop samantha. shes confused at first, but once she sees the ashton look alike, she sighs.
"i think you and ashton should make up, you say you dont hate him, but i can feel it in you." samantha said, slinging a shopping bag carrying arm over my shoulder.
"i dont know, samantha. i havent talked to him since then and he hasnt even made an effort to talk to me. its like he doesnt even care anymore! im just mad that our friendship was broken apart because of sarah and her fucking dare." i said, looking down at my nails and picking out the dirt underneath them.
"i understand, but trust me, i talked to him the other day and he couldnt shut up about how to fix this. he wouldnt even let me say anything because he was to into talking about how he fucked up so bad and every time i tried to speak he would accuse me of interrupting. honestly, just try to talk to him. you guys dont have to start up the same way, but you should still be friends."
i sigh and pull out my phone, scrolling to the a section of my contacts. "i guess youre right. i should give him a chance to explain himself. last time we talking, i kind of just shut him out. you always give the best advice, sam. you know i love you, right?"
samantha burst out laughing, and just patted my shoulder, leaning her head on me as we walked. small gestures like these were enough to let me understand that she loved me too.
1:24 pm
To: Ashton I.
Hey, um can we talk? Like today?
1:24 pm
From: Ashton I.
yeah, when?
1:26 pm
To: Ashton I.
I'll stop by later. 3-ish.
-
when 3:00 rolled around, i was holding my breath and knocking on his door. it was similar to the experience last time, which i really didnt want to recreate.
almost immediately, i heard thumping and the door was pulled open. ashton opened the door and lightly smiled at me. his hair was tousled around and looked greasy. the bags under his eyes were darker than ever before and his sweats were lying low on his hips, revealing the boxers he wore underneath.
"oh, hey flo." he said, with less than half the enthusiasm his voice usually has.
"hey, um, can i come in?"
"of course you can, flo. when were you ever not able to come in?" he jokes, but it doesnt have as much of a playful tone.
when i come into his room, everything is still the same except for the few empty beer bottles lying beside his bed. the walls are still red, there are the same slipknot and blink posters, and pictures of us are littered everywhere.
i motioned over to the bottles, "i thought you stopped drinking?"
"sometimes, its the last resort i have." he scratched his 5 o'clock shadow nervously, picking them up and trashing them.
i frown, but instead of pressing the subject, i move onto what i came to discuss. "oh. so, i kind of wanted to have a civil conversation on what happened. and im willing to hear your side of the story this time, too."
"listen, flo. you dont understand how much pain ive been through because of this and how i think about how badly i fucked up. i regret all of it so much, and i am so, so sorry. i was drunk when the dare happened, and i didnt think you would actually say yes to me. i was under the impression that this whole friendship we have had was strictly platonic. so when we were, uh, dating, it was really different and honestly, i had a lot of fun. i just cant love you like that." he paused, rubbing his reddening eyes. watching him made my heart ache, and his voice had already cracked a few times.
