Imagine [UNEDITED, ON HOLD]

Chapter 4: Niall

"Stay here," I snapped at the room of people. I bolted after Jade. It had been over six years, how could I explain everything? It was too complicated. Too complicated for reality, for anyone who hasn't experienced this.
I tapped on the cubicle. "Jade?"
After a few moments I heard a shuffling, and she replied, "Yeah? Niall?"
"Yeah, Niall."
"Um. Sorry. You just remind me of someone I used to know. But he isn't important anymore. I've forgotten about him basically, it's just you sort of brought back unwanted old memories." Jade unlocked the door and stepped out, a smile on her face.
But it was fake. Half the time I'd been with her as a kid she'd have a fake smile plastered over her frowning lips.
I felt disappointed as she said "unwanted memories" and "he isn't important." I wanted to be important. And I wanted to be the most important person in he life, until I remembered that I wasn't in her life.
Not anymore.
"It's okay," I managed.
She pushed past me and slipped out of the bathroom. I caught the door with my foot and wedged it open, following her into the room.
I stood around awkwardly before shoving my hands in my pockets and sitting down again beside Liam, the one I'd always felt closest to.
But at the same time I'd always had a muted anger for him because no matter who he was dating, a random girl from his old school or Danielle or whatever, he'd always had a slight crush on Jade.
It wasn't anything serious and he always let his girlfriends or hookups know, but it was always there, and always slightly obvious to everyone. Well, everyone except Jade.
I kept my eyes on Jade, just watching her face. Now that the attention was diverted away from her and everyone had gone back to their conversations, her facade fell away to reveal her frown.
"Jade," I said.
Her head snapped up. "What?"
"Am I really not important to you? Are your memories of me really unwanted?" I asked.
Her eyes widened. "What?"
"It's me, Jade. Niall," I said softly. "And I'm sorry I left. I had no choice."
She stared at me. "No."
"What?"
"No. It's not you." She shook her head at me.
"Er, no. Of course it is, don't be thick," I said impatiently.
Her eyes flashed. "Don't be thick? Me? The Niall I knew was imaginary. A fake person. A figment of my imagination. I realise that now."
"Then explain, how do I know so much about you? Stuff you haven't even told your own band mates?" I snapped. "Aren't they your sisters?"
Leigh-Anne, who had been talking to Liam and Louis turned as she heard that.
"Yeah? Stuff like what?" she scoffed.
"You wanna start with the easy stuff or the hard things?" I asked, somewhat sarcastically.
"It doesn't matter."
"Your middle name is Amelia. Your parents are divorced. Norma and James. You have an older brother named Karl. You live in South Shields."
"That doesn't prove anything to me," Jade shook her head.
"When you were four years old, you asked a little boy what was wrong with his voice. He told you he was Irish. You asked it was a disease. He explained that it was an accent."
Her eyes widened but she shook it off and frowned. "You could have guessed that."
I rolled my eyes. "Stubborn as ever," I muttered.
"The last time I saw the Niall I thought was real was ages ago. I have no idea what he would look like at your age," she said.
I smiled. "That's easy. Me."
She narrowed her eyes.
"Fine. You want the deeper stuff? In front of everyone? Well, nobody's listening, so what the hell? I'll give it a go. Your parents got divorced because your dad was a worthless drunk, he showed up late on your birthday nearly every year, he ditched you on your eighth birthday to go get wasted and high and have a meaningless hookup with some slut and when he came back, he slapped you," I said with conviction in my voice.
Tears sparkled in her eyes, but I was too wound up to stop.
"Your dad beat the shit out of you when you refused to see him again, and then brainwashed you to think it was okay. Then he proceeded to keep beating the shit out of you until you promised him you would let him see you. Then, after a two month long absence, he showed up randomly and forced you to get in his car. He was drunk and drove off the road, putting you into the hospital."
"Stop," she whispered.
"Your mum was never home and never spent time with you because she had to pay for everything and work five jobs all week, you were so disappointed that to get your mum's attention you rebelled by--"
"Stop," Jade said firmly.
I crossed my arms.
"So you believe me?" I asked.
Everyone was watching us.
"No." She shook her head roughly again. "I can't just believe that some random imaginary friend just...came back to life?"
"Random?" I hissed. "You invented me! I am tailored to be your--your perfect friend. I am the friend you need most."
"The friend I needed, Niall. I don't need you anymore!" she yelled.
"That's a lie."
"What?"
"I said that's a lie," I repeated, my stance still strong. "Every single smile you've flashed today has been fake. Every single laugh is forced and unnatural. Every time nobody's watching you, your smile falls into a frown, but I'm watching. And you know what? From the looks on everyone else's faces, they think that's your normal smile, your normal laugh, and that means you've been faking for a long time. But not that long. Because I know what's real. And that's not you."
"You're wrong," Jade said steadily.
"No, you're wrong. You think this is the real you because you've been faking so long that you've tricked yourself into thinking this is right!" I said, my voice rising louder.
Her face contorted into a mixture of emotions. Confusion. Sadness. Anger. Hurt. Happiness. Relief. And then back to confusion. "I still don't understand. You are not a real person. You came from my mind. You were my imaginary friend. You were an idea born from my heart. You. Are. Fake."
"Do I look fake to you?" I asked softly. She took a step back.
Then her confusion settled back into anger. "You can't just come back after all these years and expect it to be okay!"
"You're mad," I noted.
"You have very high powers of observation," she said icily.
I rolled my eyes and sighed deeply. "Look, I know you're confused. Hell, I'm confused. And don't even get me started my on family's confusion. But the point is, I'm back. Nobody will understand your past like I do because nobody lived it with you. I lived all of it," I whispered. "Even after I left, I kept having these flashbacks. But they weren't flashbacks, they were real time memories in my dreams. And I realised that and wrote down everything."
"If you came back, why didn't you come see me?" she asked.
"I don't know."
"No. You never do," she accused. "You were always just living it like it was nothing."
"It was nothing, Jade, I was dead! I had nobody to communicate with except you because nobody else knew I was even there! I had a grave!" I said loudly.
"Uh, Niall?" Liam asked.
"What?" I snapped. I took a breath and slowed my tone of voice. "What?"
"You were, um, dead?"
"Yeah, it really isn't a big deal right now," I decided.
"Er, it's kinda a big deal."
"Liam," Jade snapped in the same tone of voice as I had used before. "Not now."
"Why not now?" I asked. "Is there really anything else to talk about?"
"No. There isn't. I can't even be sure you're my imaginary friend, alright? You know how ridiculous that sounds?" she said.
I shook my head. "What were the rules and the process I told you about?"
"You die, you're created and trained by the kid then you go and be a friend and then you leave if you last till you're ten and you...come back?" she trailed off slowly.
"Yeah."
If always wondered, who would I be without Jade? If she had never wished for me, I would never be trained for her, and then what? I would just stay gone.
Forever.
And forever is a long time.