Never Again (Kou x Mitsuba)

-~Chapter 4~-

A/N:

!!!!!!!! IMPLIED SELF HARM WARNING. DO NOT CONTINUE IF YOU ARE NOT COMFORTABLE WITH THIS TRIGGER!!!!
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Mitsuba's legs swayed off the edge of a tree branch, as he shifted his position from the ground to the tall tree. "Kou is... a nice person, quite the gentleman, and very very handsome.." Mitsuba squirmed at the thought of himself calling Kou handsome. But... just look at him! Of course he is handsome. It's just... Mitsuba is a guy, Kou is a guy.

"It's wrong."
"Inhumane!"
"Insanity."
"A monstrosity!!"
"Absolutely disgusting!!!"

The words echoed loud in Mitsuba's head and even clamping his hands aggressively over his ears didn't stop it all.

"Worthless"
"Trash"
"You shit homo"
"You're sick. Let's go to a doctor"
"You have a disease!"

He hated it. So much that now there is a reason to wear long sleeves in the middle of summer...

Mitsuba held tightly onto the tree branch as if he wasn't so sure it could hold him any longer. But in fact... it was Mitsuba that could not hold on. He swayed left.. right... left again... then he fell down...

... right into Kou's arms. "Sousuke are you-" Kou's eyes widen, "Why are you crying!?" Mitsuba tried to get out of Kou's arms but Kou just tightened his grip, "I am not letting go unless you tell me what's wrong." Mitsuba gave in and Kou sat on the ground with Mitsuba in his lap. Mitsuba rested his head on Kou's shoulder and was curled up in a fetal position. Kou had his arms wrapped around Mitsuba's side, keeping him close, and had his legs in a loose crisscross style.

"I'm just... dealing with stuff right now.." Mitsuba said in a quiet voice. His voice was shakey from crying and his voice still a little hoarse. Kou rubbed circles around Mitsuba's side, "So you don't want to talk about it?" Mitsuba shakes his head and Kou sighs. He had to tell him. He just has to! So he did, "Mitsuba. I... I have something really important to share with you."

Mitsuba shakes his head, "First thing's first! How did you know I was here?" Kou laughs at the curious face that is only centimeters from his. "Hey!! It's not funny!" Mitsuba pouts and laid his head down onto Kou's chest.

"Hehe... sorry. Anyway. I saw you run off and I thought I might go see where you went.. considering I have to tell you something very important." Mitsuba looked up and Kou wipes his eyes. Mitsuba's eyes locked with Kou's as he said, "I have to leave to the big city.."

Mitsuba's eyes widen and his jaw drops slightly, "Why are you leaving.." he mumbled quietly. Kou sighed and rested his forehead on Mitsuba's shoulder.

"I have to leave because of samurai training. I don't want to but.. I have to avenge my father. He was a good man."

Mitsuba nodded in some sort of understanding, "Don't die okay?"

Kou laughed and placed his hands around Mitsuba's face, "I wouldn't do that to you, Sousuke."

Kou and Mitsuba stared into each other's eyes lovingly. Tilting his chin up, Kou planted a kiss on Mitsuba's lips. Mitsuba's grip tightened on Kou's clothing as he sank into the kiss. But as quickly as it started... it ended. "Mitsuba Sousuke. I like you a lot. This is my goodbye to you. I may never see you again so I wanted to get this out quickly. Goodbye Sousuke. Have a wonderful life. I'll miss you."

Then Kou got up and left without letting Mitsuba utter a word. "Kou... come back safely." He spoke as tears fell from his eyes once again. But this time it wasn't from past trauma, but the fact that he couldn't even mutter a word back the entire time.

Mitsuba liked Kou back but their love was forbidden and unknown. No homosexual lived to tell the tale of their desires. Once they were found out...they were killed on the spot. The thought of him being hung in front of hundreds of civilians was bone-chilling. So he kept it a secret. The kiss, his feelings, and Kou's feelings.

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"So how did it go?" Teru asked, leaning on the window sill.

Kou turned red and mumbled something.

"Huh? What was that? I couldn't hear you."

Kou sighed and turned to face his brother, "I said: I don't want to talk about it..." He stomped off and Teru followed him closely.

"So you did kiss him!!" Kou hated how easy he was to read. He nodded and walked away without Teru behind him, asking millions and millions of questions about his love life.

"I'll be back, Sousuke... just you wait." He mumbled as he sat by the open window in his room. "Just wait for me"

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A/N: *sniff sniff* is that.... ANGST I smell coming our way? 👀

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