Just Him 18+

chapter 1

the agony that i felt. i know that it wasn't supposed to be like that. i know that i should have never felt that way. so why did i stay? i get asked this a lot. why would i stay in a relationship where i was anything but happy?

there were a lot of factors leading me stay.

i know how idiotic that truly sounds because if i really went through that much pain then there wouldn't have been anything to hold on for right? wrong.

you will see soon as to how much i really experienced. but for that to happen, i have to start at the beginning. and i mean the very beginning.

4 years ago....

//

the heat was one thing i was never thankful for, but at this moment i think i would have accepted any form of warmth. the thing about louisiana is that we are always wet. so in turn we have wet winters. it makes the air sticky like frozen glue and it's almost intolerable. but it somehow makes moments like this seem almost magical. who knew it was going to be the end of me.

seventh period was about to start and i slowly made my way to class. it was almost the end of the day and i couldn't have been more thankful for that. my head was fuzzy from the lack of food i had eaten that day and maybe that's why i felt the way i did. but when i walked in and our eyes met, my insides were basted with warmth. it seemed rather magical.

i should've known better.

but i couldn't help it. my soul was itching for any type of affection. loneliness is the real silent killer. and all it took was that one glance and i was roped in. i kept telling myself that i was just lonely and that he wasn't actually interested in me but every time i looked back he was looking straight at me. i knew that he had his eyes on me from the moment i saw him. i popped in my earbuds and played my music through the rest of class and kept my head down. hoping that he would just advert his eyes on someone else.

he didn't.

the true pain was really trying my best not to look. but i am impulsive and impatient. and with every glance i gave him the more he drew me in. it wasn't fair what he was doing to me. he didn't know me and i didn't know him. but he somehow made me want to. one wrong move and i was trapped in his claws.

i leaned over to hannah. "who is that?" i asked shooting a look back to see that he is still looking at me.

hannah nodded her head and gave me a smile. "nick. he's from denham."

i nodded my head back. "what's his deal?" wrong move.

hannah gave me a knowing smile. "girl be careful with that one. he's a little damaged sweetie." with that the bell rang and i was finally able to go home. hannah gave me one last look before getting up and walking straight over to nick. maybe i should've kept my head down and walked out. but it would've been to early and would've gotten a detention. but then i might not have been sucked into the worst years of my life.

hannahs fire red hair moved so gracefully as she talked to him. her head snapping back at me letting me know that she was talking to him about me. i don't blame her for this. how could she know what she was putting me in. but every time she moves her head to look at me and i could see his bright blue eyes digging deeper into my soul. he unknowingly had formed a connection with me. before i could have said anything to him the bell rang again telling us that we needed to leave. i wonder what would've happened if the hadn't rung. what would i have said to him?

as i walked out of class and to my brothers car, i couldn't help the fact that my mind drifted to him. i had no idea who he really is and yet i let him have this hold over me. it was a dangerous game i was playing but for some reason i allowed myself to play. i shouldn't have.