espionage [h.s.]

FIFTY SEVEN

ROCHELLE

"Excuse me, miss?"

I quickly lift my head from the table it's been resting on for the past hour or so, the bright lights in the train carriage momentarily disorientating me. When my eyes adjust to the light, I find that a train attendant is now stood above me, his cap slightly tilted on his head and his eyebrows knitted together, staring down at me with an expression of both confusion and concern. I suppose I can't really blame him, because a quick look in the nearby window shows me that I currently look quite a cause for concern. My hair is disheveled, my cheeks tear-stained, and my eyes are red and puffy from crying. I longingly think back to the good old days, the days where I wouldn't be caught dead crying, or showing any emotion, in public. But today is not one of those days.

Once the train attendant sees that I'm coherent enough to understand what he's saying, he smiles before telling me, "We're now approaching the last stop. I just wanted to make sure you were ready to depart the train."

I quickly brush away some hair that's stuck to my wet cheeks, clearing my throat. "Right, ok. Yeah. Thank you."

He nods at me in acknowledgment before making his way further down the train, leaving me alone to gather up the little belongings I have. After leaving Harry's apartment, I fled the institute pretty quickly, managing to pack up all the stuff I needed and getting out of there before word had the chance to spread. I always had an emergency exit plan, you have to with jobs like these, but I never thought I'd have to use it so soon. Or like this.

Back in my trainee room, I packed a duffel bag full of clothes and pulled on a jacket, tucking the pageboy blonde wig I'd once worn for a mission into one pocket, stuffing the other with a wad of cash I hid in the wardrobe the day I arrived at the EEI. An emergency fund.

My next stop was the swimming pool changing rooms, where I successfully broke into Connie's locker, leaving my burner phone with a note that I'd call her soon. It was kind of a gamble to do that, because I know she may be completely unwilling to talk to me, too swept up in her hatred for me like everybody else, but I hoped that maybe she wouldn't hate me forever. No matter the reason for my being there, Connie really was my closest friend at the institute, which I had told her in the note I left. But whether she does decide to forgive me or not, it doesn't really matter, because by leaving the phone there, I've still managed to secure some point of contact with the institute. Just in case I ever need it.

After that, I took the elevator down to floor 2 and headed into the garage where Harry's motorbike is stored, the same one he took me on that night he showed me the stars and finally told me his secret. I paused for a moment as that memory flashed through my mind, the heart wrenching pain of it making me wonder if I could really do this, if I had it in me, but then I decided I had no other choice. It was the only way out I had. So, with my guilt lodged firmly in my throat like a vice, I grabbed a helmet, hot-wired his motorbike, and drove it away from the institute, leaving it stranded on the side of a random road a few miles out.