I, Jackson and Elizabeth Kelly

December 15, 2003

Pa is taking this time of year hard. Today was when him and Mama got married. Mama also loved Christmas. It's our first one without her.

I saw Pa in the kitchen, the smell of the traditional coquito being made. Pa says he liked making it before Christmas to let it sit, whatever that meant.

"Hey, mijo," Pa said and I looked to him. He smirked at me and picked me up onto his hip and I hugged his neck. "What is it?"

"I just wanted to tell you I got Liz to sleep," I said as he kissed my cheek.

"Thank you, Jack, that means a lot," Pa said, "are you excited for Christmas?" I nodded.

"Yeah, I am," I said, "It's Lizzy's first Christmas with us."

"Yeah, it is. And I bet she is excited to spend it with her amazing older brother," he said and smiled at me. I smiled back and snuggled into him. Pa kissed my head and hummed softly as he cooked.

"Pa?"

"Yeah, mijo?"

"Can we hang Mama's stocking still with the rest of our's?" I looked at Pa and he had some tears in his eyes. He sighed before turning to me with a soft smile.

"Of course, mijo, I think she would love that," he said and put me down to store the coquito and put it away to cool. I watched him and sat down on the stool.

"By the way, your Abuela and abuelito should be coming to see us for Christmas," he said.

"What about Uncle Jack?" I asked. That's who I'm named after, by the way. He's Pa's older brother and they were very close.

"I dunno, son," he said, softly, looking upset. My Uncle Jack had a thing for "locking himself up" as Pa has explained it. He said Uncle Jack has a "drinking problem". I don't know what that is, but, I still loved my uncle.

"Is he locked up again?" I asked.

"No, mijo, he isn't. He's okay. Just....he got into a fight with your Abuelito and I don't know if it's them being stubborn or what," he sighed. I nodded and played with my hands. I went to sat something else but I heard Lizzy started crying.

"I got her, Pa," I said and went to our room. I saw her in her crib and I picked her up. Lizzy calmed down and curled up on me. I smiled and kissed her cheek, holding her close as I walked out to Pa.

Pa saw us and smiled, picking up Lizzy and kissing her head as she curled up on him. She looked a lot smaller on Pa than she did on me.

"I know this Christmas will not be the same, but I promise to make it the best it can he for you both," Pa said. I hugged his legs and he held me close.

I hope Pa knows that all we want for Christmas is just to be together.

~ JJK