Helluva boss/Hazbin Hotel reader insert oneshots/headcanons/scenarios

Baxter x child reader

(A/N: I know I know, he wouldn't like kids whatsoever, but imma make this kid basically Pidge from voltron so she's an acceptation. This is obviously gonna be hella ooc but hey, Baxter is best boi.)

Y/N's P.O.V

I crawled out of my underground bunker after the extermination. My mom and dad have been double dead for about three years now and I've been surviving on my own. I now know how to build technology, hack, cook, and take care of wounds. I'm only 13, too. I sighed and walked out of my house, looking around at the corpses of my neighbor Mr. Browne, a known child abuser that died last year and his fling, Ms. Scott, a wealthy prostitute. I send a condolence gift to his daughter Evelyn and went about my day, shopping for parts to build a new prosthesis since I snapped a sensory chord on my way into my bunker and now I can't have a working right hand, meaning no coding until I'm done.

I heard laughing from the tv store corner while others on the street snickered and pointed as I walked by, the ones at the tv store probably laughing at some joke service like feces garnish on Jeffery's cannibal cooking show and the ones snickering and pointing making fun of me, a girl without a hand, going into a mechanics shop without an adult. I grumbled and walked in, getting my usual parts along with some energy bars and drinks to keep me awake. As I walked out I bumped into a man as tall as me, he smelled like rotten fish and pure seething anger. "Sorry sir." I quickly said before walking back to my house, hearing footsteps behind me but not minding. I approached my house just as the laser outside my door shot at my other neighbor, Mrs. Arkell. I kicked the body out of the way of the steps before typing in the code on the steel door and stepping inside. 

I looked outside the window to see the man I bumped into looking shocked. I got onto my computer and started hacking into hell's database. Well, I say hacking as if Lucifer didn't give me partial access to the technologically advanced sinners. I scrolled through overlords and average Joes before stumbling across the man I saw. "Baxter, huh?" I muttered to myself, getting his number and texting his phone.

Y/N: So, why are you outside my house? You a pedo or something, huh?

Baxter: What? No! I just wanted to see since It's suspicious to see a little girl walking into a mechanics store missing a hand without parents. Especially in ACTUAL HELL.

Y/N: I'll invite you in if you tell me why you bothered following a 13 year old.

I opened my door and saw him standing there in shock before letting himself in grumpily. I hit the start button on some of my robots and gave them commands before sitting down. "So, Baxter, why so surprised?" I asked smugly. He looked at me in disgust.

"Well for starters, what kind of fucked up shit did you do to end up here? You are literally 13." he asked. I snorted in laughter.

"I was born here, fish for brains. Geez I thought that you were the 20th best inventor in hell on Lucifer's database! Well, I'm guessing 18th now since it hasn't been updated since before the extermination, but still...." I trailed off and got lost in thought, muttering words faster than the radio demon starting a musical number. I caught myself mid rant about hell's entire system and looked back at the anglerfish demon. "Sorry, anyway, continue, sir." I said awkwardly.

"Wait wait wait, how do you know about Lucifer's database, what the fuck did you do just now, and why are you missing a hand and parents?" he asked, progressively getting louder and louder. My smallest robot wheeled up to him and handed him a cup of tea before giving me some boba. I sighed.

"Well, about three years ago, my parents died during the extermination since they were forced to work during then. My dumb ten year old ass decided to run out to save them or at least recover their corpses and an exterminator spotted me and decided to chase me down. I ended up under a pile of rubble to avoid being killed and had to chop my hand off in order to get out. I know about Lucifer's database because I'm a candidate for his royal scientist since he killed the last one for leaking info. Also, I did something called ranting about hell's political system." I listed before taking a long sip of boba. 

"What the-how are you smarter than me? ARE you smarter than me? How high do you even rank?" he asked. I chuckled.

"I rank around number 10 or eight on his inventor database, the one taking the head spot is the overlord my parents worked for. So yeah, I'm probably smarter than you." I bragged with a smirk. The fish looked like he was about to explode out of anger. 

"Okay so basically you're a Marry Sue who's smart and edgy?" he suggested, his eyes narrowed. I shrugged.

"Basically, yes. Although, that's a tough read right there dude. Anywho, the real reason I asked you to come in is simple and you should've seen it coming, Dr. Baxter." I monologued before standing up and holding out my gloved left hand. He raised an eyebrow. "Dr. Baxter sir, may I please be your apprentice? I feel like I can learn a lot more from a senior inventor despite my rank. I also don't want Sir Pentious to be my mentor even though he's around number 6, he'll probably just treat me like a dumb kid...." aaaand I zoned out again. 

I stopped when I felt a hand encased in a rubber glove shake mine. I looked back to him to see Baxter nodding. "Alright then kid, if that's what you want then so be it. Pack your bags, you'll be living with me unless you want me to go easy on you, kiddo." I he said begrudgingly before walking out. I smiled to myself before remembering something and then looking beside me, only to see my mechanical parts for a hand gone.

"BAXTER YOU SON OF A-"