part five

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myra and i spent every day together but time flew by so quickly, it was like barely any time had passed since she told me she was pregnant and now, we were driving to the er.

i was scared for myra, it must be hard giving birth, at least at the end of it, she and her bundle of joy can live on happil- wait..

i completely zoned out and nearly crashed the car. myra was going to die, this was the last time i would see her and i.. i was going to have to raise a child as my own.. i was going to be a dad. i should be happy but i was anything but happy. i couldn't brush of the fact that i would never be able to meet myra for coffee, hear her goofy laugh, comfort her cries, oh my god. i started to feel extremely guilty, i had hated her since eddie announced that they we're dating in college, i was so selfish. i held a grudge for 20+ years of my life and just as i was getting closer to her, she was leaving too? this wasn't fair, on me, on her, on the kid.. on anybody.

we arrived at the er and myra was sent to a room. i couldn't loose her, i wasn't ready. i gave her the biggest bear hug ever and broke down on her shoulder, this could be the last time i see her alive and smiling and that broke my heart more than i ever thought it would. neither of us wanted to let go until the midwife told us we had to.

"take care of them richie, for eddie and i"

i looked up with glossy eyes and tears rolling down my flushed cheeks, i smiled slightly.

"for you and eddie, i'd walk to the moon"

she giggled tiredly

"thank you for everything, richie. these past few months have been of the best of my entire life, i guess you could say the tozier charm has grown on me"

she winked and smiled softly, starting to fill up with tears.

"what can i say, i'm a pretty irresistible person"

i tried to joke but i wasn't in the mood, she could obviously tell but she let out a slight chuckle anyway. tears started to fall ever-so slowly down her cheek as she grabbed my hand,

"i love you richie, i really really do"

"i love you too myra, im gonna miss you.. "

i smiled softly and started to break down once again, i can't let her die too.

a nurse came over and put her hand on my shoulder. i sniffled and turned around to see her face whilst wiping my eyes. she gave me a sorrowful smile and said "you okay richie?"
i nodded,
"yeah i'm okay- wait, how do you know my name?"

she chuckled a little

"you're richie tozier, everyone in here never stops talking about you!"

sometimes you kind of forget you're famous and when you do, you feel so free, normal. but then there's other days where you know that everyone's eyes are on you and you can see they're dying to come over and ask for a picture or autograph. i loved meeting fans more than anything but there was some days that i really wished i was invisible. my fans always chose the worst days to acknowledge me for example, the day eddie.. went away, the day i came back from derry, today.

i just smiled slightly

"i appreciate the support, thanks..."
"...linda"
i continued after reading her name tag.

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