Little Bird (Kylo Ren x Reader AU)

A Living Lunatic

"You're beautiful..."

Hands. Firm. Strong. Pulling at your hips, your thighs, your breasts, bruising you, soothing you. A mouth. Wet. Desperate. A frenzy of kisses down your neck, your clavicle, to your sternum, above the terrified thumping of your heart. Your blood is red, his lips are red, the sheets are red, the air is red. You inhale a plea and exhale a prayer. There are two figures, but only one writhes and whines and gasps, only one works like an instrument tuned to the key of your body. Sweat. Flesh. Breath. You want to remember this. You need to remember--to remember--

"Tell me what you want..."

You, you want to whisper. But it won't leave. Your mouth is sewn shut with thread stitched into skin, and when you try to pry it open, sound collapses in your throat.

You, you struggle to say. But your tongue is shriveled, a rotten leaf, wilting words as they crawl across it, and not a croak escapes.

You, you try to scream. But you are empty, black vines in your veins consuming you from fingers to chest to eyes, swallowing you like a locust swarm.

And you realize that it is over, that you are dying, that what you wanted never mattered at all.

Jolted from sleep, you scrambled inside the sheets, babbling nonsense as your mind snapped to consciousness. You hadn't even realized you were truly awake until you found yourself struggling to move, bound in the braided-rope embrace of Kylo Ren's arms. His strength stilled you, and you buried yourself in his chest, drawing in a slow, quiet breath. He was silent while you trembled. The creeping claws of your dream faded from memory.

"Sorry," you said, words muffled against his skin, "I guess I had a nightmare."

"Mm." A soft kiss to the top of your head. "I'm familiar."

"I think I died." You wrapped your arms around him, wound your legs in his. "Did you ever hear that if you die in your dreams, you die in the real world?"

Kylo hummed, fingers skating over your shoulder. "Were that true," he said, "I would be a ghost."

Your chin quivered. "Oh." If only you could have eschewed the very fabric of reality and ignored the impending arrival of the Resistance transport. If only you could have remained in bed with your former Commander forever. "When do you think they're coming?"

His heart quickened at your cheek. "Patrol changes shift shortly," he replied. "They'd be wise to take advantage of the distraction."

"Oh." You brushed your lips across his sternum, nuzzled your face in the valley of his chest. In another world, this could have been any other morning. "Then we need to get up."

A muffled sigh. "Yes."

Wordlessly, you each untangled your limbs free from the other and rose out of bed. You tossed your nightgown over your head, ignoring the background desire of your mind to catalogue its lasts: the last time you'd sleep in this bed, the last time you'd see this room, the last time you'd watch him in naked majesty--

No. You wouldn't consider that. Not now. After pulling on your underwear, you glanced at Kylo, nodding to him in an agreement that there was preparation that the both of you needed to do. Holding in a sigh, you crossed the threshold of his bedroom, striding into the hall and down the steps like you were about to get dressed without any sort of pretense at all.

The house itself seemed to acknowledge your decision, whining with the weight of your footsteps. These same sounds that had once terrorized you in enslavement, signaled your illicit plans with your Commander, now mocked you in your bid to escape. A part of you had grown comforted by the settling wood that marked the path to his bed. Comforted, despite the scrape of shackles at your wrists.