March 2019

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AN: I'm going to make this, as reader friendly as I possibly can. If you don't understand a certain type of phrase or anything just please ask and I'll answer your questions as best I can.

This is to get everything off of my chest. To let go.

*******

"I just really can't stand him. He's like- the most ignorant person I've EVER met." You tell your fiancé.

"I know babe, but it's just the beginning. Maybe he's one of those guys that just takes a little more time to I guess, smooth around the edges. He doesn't know any of you. Give it time."

Brittany always had this way of calming you down. She didn't know much about the Army- anything military wise really.

But she was open and always willing to listen to explanations of things that she didn't quite understand.

A relationship this refreshing was brand new for you. Your ex, just never understood it. She was constantly jealous, and if you got off of duty late she would accuse you of cheating.

But that was never the case, and that was just something she couldn't comprehend.

Brittany was the complete opposite and you thanked God everyday that he had the two of you cross paths the way you did.

The conversation between you two goes on for another hour, exchanging stories of what went on during the day, and ending with Brittany telling you how much she missed you.

Being in the Army National Guard was great. You initially signed your name on the dotted line because at that time you had no idea what you wanted. You were lost, and felt as if you had no purpose. And boy, did you crave for something. Anything to make you feel like you were making a difference in this world.

That's when you decided to enlist. And quite frankly- it was the best decision you ever made. You've made tons of life long friends. And you were thankful.

And here you were, 8 years later, slowly reaching your goals (civilian and military wise) and you couldn't be any happier. Especially with having Brittany by your side through it all.

You exchange I love you's with your fiancé, then end the FaceTime call.

Being on away for pre-deployment training was hard. While your friends could go home to their loved ones and spend time them, you didn't have that luxury. That was 3 weeks of missing time that would be extremely hard to make up before you left for training in Oklahoma.

You were staying with your cousin for the duration of training, which was great because she was also deploying with you.

At least there's that- you thought to yourself. It's better than nothing.

After the long days of training, the two of you would go back to her house and relax. Some nights, you would go and try a new restaurant she wanted to go to. You never minded, you figured that you'd enjoy the little things before leaving your home for a year.

Time had definitely flown since your unit was first officially notified about the deployment. It wasn't the first time that you've been told that you were going to go on a mission. But this is the first time that you'd actually BE going.

*******

The last 3 weeks of training had gone by without a hitch. Your squad consisted of you, Private First Class (PFC) Motta, Specialist (SPC) Rose, SPC Fields, and SPC McCarthy. You had an all girl squad, which you took as a compliment. You knew that you'd be able to build them as a strong team and you were excited.

You knew that there would be nothing that could hold you back. But that was until you met Seargeant (SGT) Karofsky. He was big, loud-mouthed and rude in nearly every single interaction you've had with him.

He was one of those sergeants. One that demanded respect because of the rank that was on his chest.

You swore from the day you got pinned that you would never act that way. You understood that the dynamic to a good team is mutual respect and trust. And the only way to build that, was to get to know your soldiers. Figure out what their strengths and weaknesses were and build upon that as a team.

SGT Karofsky, on the other hand, was your complete opposite and it caused tension within the platoon from the very start. The moment he walked into the unit, you knew that he would be trouble.

But you wouldn't figure out how much until later.

*******

On the last day of training, your unit has your deployment ceremony. A tradition that's held for units who are leaving soon. Everyone's family was in attendance, and Brittany flew over from the Big Island to attend in support of you.

And her support meant the world to you.

A few days prior, you posted on your family's Facebook page to announce the date and time of your ceremony. Your post got likes, but none of your family showed up.

It wasn't surprising to you, everyone's busy. It was the middle of the week, who would be able to come you know?

Just Brittany being there for you was enough.

The ceremony was a grueling 2 hours long in the hot sun in the middle of the large parking lot right outside of the brigade building. They held it there because it was big enough to fit the battalion size of 362, along with their families.

Everyone came. Higher ups from other units, the general of the Brigade, along with the governor and other elected individuals.

Your unit was making history. The first Field Artillery unit that would be handling an Air Defense mission overseas. You held that to you with pride. It was big- bigger than you could have ever imagined. You wanted to make sure you left an impression. To let people know that you, SGT Santana Lopez made a difference on this mission.

Once everyone gave their speeches, you were finally released to your family.

Brittany was there, standing in a sunflower romper. Her hair blowing slightly in the wind, a bead of sweat dripping from her temple. It was a hot day, and you definitely knew it. Sweat was dripping down your back. You were miserable. But you didn't care.

All you cared about was the beautiful woman, standing there waiting with open arms.

She pulled you in for a hug, her embrace was so welcoming and warm. You feel complete immediately, your body had been longing for her touch for nearly 3 weeks now.

Every second mattered.

Time doesn't stop for anyone. It doesn't slow down, either. And you knew that the month you had left with her was something you wouldn't take for granted.

Your best friend Quinn showed up too, making sure that she found you in the sea of people.

Your friendship with Quinn had been destined from the start. You both were on orders together and the rest was history. You shared stories, relationship problems, basically everything under the sun.

And that's when you knew that she was your best friend.

You have other bestfriends, from high school, college.

But none of them, understood every aspect of your life. Including the Army. And that's where Quinn came in.

She hugged Brittany after she hugged you.

You we're glad that they hit it off right away. You were nervous at first, not knowing if they'd get along.

But they did and you stood there, knowing that you had both your fiancé and your best friend at the one ceremony that was one of the biggest in your entire life.

Now, if only time could slow down.

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