reader pov-
warnings- death, angst, bit of fluff, mentions of cheating
You were Johns first love. Before Martha, before Lizzie, before Esme. He loved you with every fibre of his being. You met eachother in school. Your were both 9 years old and became bestfriends quickly after he fought off a group of boys who were picking on you. 5 years later, you got drunk off Pols brandy and ended up kissing. They avoided eachother for weeks until Polly told John to grow some balls and tell you how he felt. And so he did. He told you he loved you and asked you to be his girlfriend. 2 years later you made love for the first time. It was wonderful.
John made a mistake. He cheated. He cheated with your bestfriend, Martha. You didn't find out until 3 months later. The day before, you found out you were ill. You still hadn't told him. When he cheated, it gave you an excuse to break up with him. He could move on and you can die without burdening him. You were both 18 at the time. And when Martha found out she was pregnant, they ended up marrying. You were devastated. But you knew that you were going to die, and that you would have never go to bare his children or have a long happy live with him even if he didn't cheat. Because the facts were, that you had terminal cancer.
A few months after you found out you were ill, which was 3 months after Johns wedding with Martha, you were in your last days. Your mother had told Polly that you were dying. And that's you had chosen to die in your home, so you were comfortable. Pol must have let slip to some women at the market and somehow John found out. He was knocking on your door. You were too weak to answer but apparently your mother answered the door as 30 seconds later, he was in your bedroom. You knew that you looked like you were ill. And it made it worse when John noticeably gasped at the sight of you.
You crouched down next to you and grasped at your hands.
"I'm so sorry y/n, for everything. If i knew you were so ill, I would've come sooner." he whispered
"It's okay John, i didn't want you to know. I would have been a burden. Especially to your situation now. But you can move on with your wife and child" a tear slipped down your face.
"Don't be silly y/n, no matter what happens, you'd never be a burden. It's all my fault. Martha's been meaning to speak to you, i know she's just as sorry as me. We never meant to hurt you. We just had a few too many whiskeys. But y/n i'll always love you. Until my last day. And i'm going to stay with you until your last breath. I'm not going anywhere." he few tears escaped and cascaded down his face aswell.
"You won't be waiting long. I suspect i only have a couple of days left" you weakly said.
"Then i shall make sure your comfortable" i smiled slightly.
He lifter the quilts up and slid in next to you. He pecked your forehead and pulled you close to him.
You knew you should hate him. But you don't want to spend your last days hating the man you love the most.
He stayed. For three days. By your side. You mother casually checking in on you both. You had been sleeping. John watching chest raise up and down. Until it stopped. And he cried. He called your mother and waited for her to
come up. Whilst he was waiting he pecked your lips one last time. And squeezed your hands. He squeezed your body close to him one last time. And then you mother came through the door. She cried to. But not as much as John. She had been more prepared for this day than he was.
The funeral was 3 days after. It was a sunny day believe or not. And everyone who was there was dressed in colour. They knew that you would have wanted everyone there to celebrate your life, not mourn your death. And you had asked your mother previously if you could have bright colours to represent your personality and she agreed.
John never forgot you. And when he too was talking his last breaths, he saw you. Holding your hand out. Telling him it was okay, and that he was safe. You welcomed him...
The end
