The Beast Within

Chapter Twenty-Nine: Fighting My Feelings

Nyssa rolled over in her bed and opened her eyes to see bright red curly hair, she smiled and sat up to see Jason looking up at her with big blue eyes "hi mommy" "good morning my big boy" she lifted him onto her bed and snuggled him making him giggle "mommy stoppp" he complained while laughing, she heard light but fast footsteps stop at her door "good morning Crim" "morning mommy" she climbed to the bed and Nyssa lifted her up, they heard a clank in the kitchen and Nyssa's head snapped over to her door, she slipped out of bed quietly "kids.. stay in here and be quiet" they nodded and hid under the covers like Jerome and Nyssa had told them to if something like this were to happen.

She quietly shut the bedroom door and tip toed through the house and walked to the kitchen but stopped and frowned at who it was "you have three seconds to get out.. or I'm getting my gun" "Nyssa.. I know you're mad at me" she scoffed "then you know how incredibly fucking stupid it is for you being here right now" "I just wanna talk" "why don't we skip that and go straight to the fighting.. I'll start, get out or I'll shoot you" "Nyssa come on.. you're overreacting" "excuse me!?" "yes I had sex with another woman.. while the kids were there and they caught us-" "you're not making this any better Jerome!" "but.. I told them we were just wrestling and I promise it hasn't and never will happen again" "so that makes it any better!?" "you slept with my brother Nyssa!" "and why did I do that Jerome!?" "I know I fucked up okay!" "you're gonna be fucked up if you don't get out!" "Nyssa.. she meant nothing to me! it was a mistake!"

"A mistake that happened in our bed.. while I was out working.. I was your partner and you did that to me!" "I'm sorry!" "sorry doesn't fix it!" "then what will!?" "nothing! nothing you say or do will ever fix it!" "you told me you wanted to try!" "I did try! I tried for three years and it wasn't enough for you! you needed to have the pretty girl that joined us.. well congratulations you got her.. but you lost me" "you're prettier than any girl I've ever seen.. I don't want any of those fucking girls.. I want you! I've always wanted you" "well you don't always get what you want" "I wanted to know the truth.. but you wouldn't answer me" "I didn't answer you because you had just shot Drew!" "because I walked in to see you half naked with him in the fucking living room!" "I never slept with him and nothing ever happened! I tried to explain but you shot him and tried to shoot me before I could!" "then tell me now.. I'm all fucking ears Nyssa!" Nyssa took a deep breath and sat down at the table and Jerome followed her.

One year ago.

Nyssa sat on the couch reading a book waiting for Jerome to come back home, she looked to her finger and smiled at the diamond he gave her, there was a knock at the door and she answered it to find Drew smiling at her and she smiled back "hey neighbor" "hi Drew.. what can I do for you?" she walked to the couch and Drew closed the door "I was just coming to see how you were.. it sounded like there was a pretty bad argument last night" "oh.. that was just Jerome being a little extra, we're fine.. thank you though" he looked around and turned back to her "is he here?" "no.. he's working and the kids are with my friends for the day" he nodded and sat a little too close to her, she watched him closely and he turned to face her "he doesn't deserve you" her eyes widened and she scooted away a bit "excuse me?" "I hear you two.. fighting, things breaking.. I know he's abusive" "you better check yourself and back up Drew" "Nyssa.. you can't excuse his behavior! he doesn't deserve you!" Nyssa stood up and crossed her arms "he's not abusive and he's my partner who I love.. I think you should leave now" he stood up but quickly grabbed her shoulders tightly "you should be with someone like me!" "obsessed and creepy!? no thanks! let go of me and get out!" he looked at her with a dark glint "I'll make you love me Nyssa" she tried to push him off but he threw her into the wall and tore her shirt open "get off me!" he threw her on the coffee table in the living room and started pulling her leggings down.

She heard the door open and looked up to see a very furious Jerome "Jerome!" "what the fuck is going on here Nyssa!?" Drew jumped off her and smirked "she doesn't love you-" suddenly a shot rang out and Drew dropped to the floor dead "Jerome I can explain-" "don't say a fucking word or I'll shoot you too!" she had tears in her eyes and went to step forward "Jero-" a bullet flew past her head and hit the wall and she jumped back "fucking don't!" he stormed out of the room and she dropped to her knees feeling completely shattered, she was just assaulted and the one man that was supposed to love and protect her just tried to shoot her.

Jerome looked to Nyssa who was sobbing in her hands at the table after telling him what had happened, he knew she was telling the truth and he felt the biggest weight of guilt crush him "Nyssa I'm sorr-" "don't.. please don't, I got over it on my own and now that's what I am.. on my own" she sat up straight and wiped her tears "I should've listened.. I should have been there for you" "but you weren't.. you decided to screw some whore in our bed.. I hope your experience was better than mine" "Nyssa.. I love you" she stood up and walked to the kitchen bench and starting making the kid's breakfast.

"You don't love me Jerome.. you probably never did, you love the idea of having someone around" Jerome frustratedly stood up turned her to face him "listen to me.. I fucking love you Nyssa.. I'd been fighting my feelings for you since the moment I saw you.. I love you.. I love you so much it hurts.. my love for you makes me go fucking crazy for you" she looked at him with teary eyes "you love me.. until you don't again.. I can't go back and forth and love you just for you to push me away again" "I'll never push you away.. never again, I need you in my life Nyssa.. I want to marry you and have more kids with you.. I love you" "Jerome.. that's the thing.. I trust you with mine and our children's lives.. I do.. but I just.. I don't trust you with my heart anymore".

Jerome felt a tear slide down his cheek "I know I hurt you.. and I know I've broken your heart many times.. but I need you" "I can't-" "is there someone else?" she sighed and Jerome felt his heart break "it didn't mean anything.. but Jeremiah stayed the night" "on.. on the couch right?" "in my bed" "did you fuck him?" tears fell down her cheeks and he stepped back "right" "Jerome.. it didn't mean anything.. but I can't be with you again knowing that you could decide to use it against me" "Nyssa.. whatever happened last night.. 6 months ago hell even 5 years ago.. it's all in the past, I don't care what you've done or who you've done.. I just fucking want you back" "Jerome-" "I'll get on my knees and beg if I have to.. I'll marry you tomorrow and be one million percent faithful to you and only you if that's what you want.. you can cut my dick off and carry it around with you if it helps you.. I'll stand on the roof of the tallest building and throw people off it to spell out your name.. I'll paint the streets blood red for your favorite color.. just please.. please baby.. give me one more chance.. I promise I'll never hurt you or play with your heart.. you already own mine.. please baby.. I love you" she smiled and shook her head while sobbing "you sound like a crazy person" "I'm crazy about you" she laughed loudly and pulled him in for a hug "I love you too" "can I come home baby? I miss you so much" "yes.. yes you can come home" he lifted her up and spun her around and she giggled, he put her down and kissed her passionately, they looked in their room and saw the kids had fallen back asleep, they smiled at each other and continued to make their kids breakfast.