VLAD IS NOT A VAMPIRE [BL]

DON'T TAKE MY BABY

The first time Vlad's mum tried to kill him, was when he was eight.

It only took eight steps for Vlad to reach his local Aldi. The cold bit around his hollowed cheeks like empty skulls, but it was worth it because he wanted to munch on midget gems and canned Coke and Albert was with him, so they'd probably gabble on about eight shows they're watching on TV and laugh eight times at Vlad's sarcastic remarks.

"So why today?" Albert spoke in his stuffy manner, wrinkling his nose in bemused interest at some Belgium chocolates.

"What do you mean?"

"You 'ate all this malarkey, you know, faffing about the shops and that, you normally just want to go home and play with your beyblade."

Vlad glanced at Albert's weedy frame, he flicked a lock of his ginger hair out of his eyes, picking up a Snickers bar with greedy fingers.

Albert was a weird one - he'd give him that - but there was something in his green eyes and his demeanour or the gentle way he'd smile at the other classmates when they walked into class, that was nothing but kind. He was the type of person that made you feel good by just being yourself, those were rare to come by.

"Just wanted to spend some time with my best mate, that's all."

"Bugger off V! Look, get your midget gems and Coke, then we'll go down to the park and you can tell me everything that's wrong."

Then Albert marched off in an assured gait, glancing back at Vlad with a wolfish grin.

Vlad chased after him in stifled laughter. They took eight steps to the rickety, deprived crackpot of their local park and then playfully jumped eight times to the swings. They squeaked an awful lot and the seats were more brown than there intended blue, yet it was still their favourite.

"So." Albert began, hacking off a piece of chocolate with his wobbly teeth. "What's the ish"

"I have-"

"Yeah?"

"I've got..."

"Come on V!"

"I've got a fang!" Sheepishly Vlad bared his teeth at Albert, using his sharp tongue to turn at the jarred tooth on his left side. "I've got a ghastly, measly, tongue scraping fang! I'm a monster!" Vlad then flopped dramatically on the swing, scrunching his face up in mock despair. " I'm hideous, don't look at me."

"That's really cool"

"What really?"

"Yeah man!" Albert jumped up excitedly. "You can bite the bullies when they're being mean to you again."

" Would that actually work?"

"Probably, I know if you bit me with that fang, I'd cry."

"I was going to try and cut it out."

" Don't lie, you already tried too, didn't ya?"

"How was I supposed to know scissors wouldn't work!"

Albert laughed, finishing off the last off his Snickers with gusto. "Dentists use pliers innit?"

" Why you asking me? I'm not a dentist."

"You're right. You're a nob with a funky tooth."

"Albert!" Vlad lunged for Albert's arm playfully. "I'm gonna bite youuuuuuu!"

Albert wrenched himself out of Vlad's grasp, elevating himself into a full blown sprint. "Not if you catch me first!"

Vlad ran around the park eight times, stayed there until it was four past eight, took eight long steps home. He had given Albert his can of coke that he didn't drink, slipped eight sweet midget gems into his mouth as he used his keys to open the door.