Faded Memories

Chapter 29

The sky was black now, as we reached the peak of the darkest hour. We had been on the road for hours, the colours of the sky changing from blue to pink to black, the only part of the journey that I could currently focus my attention on. The faded street lamps dully lit the road, our car headlights constantly being bright until we met another car and had to tone them down. I hated the dark, but driving in the dark provided a certain type of peace that you couldn't find in the day.

I laid my head against the window, not wanting the tiredness to take over in case the phone rang. I still haven't heard anything from Jamie's foster parents; I'm not sure if it was a blessing or a curse. Part of me was leaning towards it being a curse, as surely they would have rang me back if everything was okay - especially after my panicked voicemails that I had left throughout the entire day.

Liam had driven us most of the way, until I realised that he was falling asleep at the wheel as he hadn't slept the night before. I offered to drive then, but as my attention wasn't the most focused right now Carter decided that he should probably be the one to take over. So that's where we currently were in the car: Liam fast asleep in the back, sprawled out as if it was a double bed - while Carter and I sat upfront, with the dull sound of the radio in the background.

"You know how I can tell there's something on your mind?" Carter turned to me from the side, one hand on the wheel while his other hand had his fingers laced through mine.

"How?" I turned my head from the window to face him, thankful for some sort of conversation to try and distract me from everything.

"Everytime this song has been played no matter where we are, you always sing along and I don't even think you realised that this song was playing right now." He gave me a small smile, turning the radio up slightly so that we could hear it clearer.

I listened out for the song now, realising that it is in fact my favourite song at the minute. I can't believe Carter noticed that I liked this song, when I had never even told anybody about it. He honestly was unlike anybody I had ever met before, and I know how dramatic that sounds, so I would never truly admit it outloud.

"We've never properly spoken about why I said no to being your girlfriend, Carter - and I feel like I should properly explain myself." I whispered suddenly, feeling the need to get it off my chest. Driving in the dark would let me expose my darkest secrets, there was just something about the vibe of it all.

"You don't need to explain, not right now. I understand that it was because of everything you've been through." He traced a circle over my hand with his thumb, trying to reassure me that I didn't need to explain. But, I felt as though I owed him a true explanation.

"It wasn't just because of everything... well, I suppose it was." I began, leaning my head against the headrest as I watched him watch the road. "I did want to say yes, Carter, trust me I did. But... I put all of my trust in Ryan. He was my first boyfriend, the only boyfriend that I've ever had - I think in some sort of weird way my brain now just expects every person that I ever even like to turn out in the same way. And having not told you about my past, I didn't want to put your family at risk without knowing how you would feel about it... but then, I also didn't want to admit outloud everything that I had been through."

"Don't worry, Amelia, I won't hold it against you," He chuckled, having a quick glance at me before turning back to the road. "You can trust me though, I promise. I wouldn't ever put my family at risk unless I had to though, and there's not even a choice in it right now - I would never abandon you to protect my family, you mean too much to me."

"Ask me again." I stated, not wanting this moment to run away from me.

"Ask you what?" He replied, the moment completely going over your head.