The Collective

VV

Deafening. It was the only way to describe the silence of the room. She had nothing left to say. He'd said all that he could. She'd heard him say it time and time again: things never truly end with a bang. Everything ends with the silence that comes afterward. They were now living proof of the mourning reticence.

The sofa they both found comfortable now felt as though it were covered in nails. She shifted with discomfort due to the lack of sound.

"Is this really how it ends?" She whimpered, keeping her gaze on the floor.

He nodded, "I guess so." He rested his forearms on his thighs, gazing down at his hands. He had no more words for her. He didn't even know how to give her comfort. He wanted nothing more than to take away the pain in her eyes. It wasn't that she meant nothing now. She was still everything. Some times love had to be done the hard way.

"I'm going to bed. If you could..." She stopped to choke down her tears. "If you could not be here in the morning." She didn't want to be rude, but she couldn't endure waking up to him one more morning.

"I can leave now." He offered quietly. It was obvious she was struggling with the outcome of the yelling match hours before. Maybe it was the fact he was proven right about the end of things always being silent.

"It's late. You can stay here for the night." She assured him. He just nodded once more.

She promptly stood from the sofa. She had no desire to hold onto the sobs any longer. It was causing her more physical pain to keep it in. Her eyes burned. Her throat was tight and had the same burning sensation as her eyes. She was certain that keeping it all inside wasn't going to help at all.

Entering the bedroom, the one they once shared, all of her emotions collided in her heart. A sob escaped her. She crawled into the bed with weak limbs and blurred vision. She buried her face into his pillow, knowing his sweet, musky scent would bring her comfort as well as more pain. Curling up, hiding in the blankets, she let the river of tears soak the pillow. He body shook as she stuggled to take a full breath. Was this what the end of the world felt like?

He could hear her cries from the living room. Two hours had passed and her near screams showed no signs of stopping. The pain she felt was raidiating through the whole apartment. He wanted to stop her pain, but the moment he ran out of words, he knew it had to happen. He never wanted to give up; it just happened. He didn't conciously make the choice to quit. The universe had made the choice for them. There was nothing that could repair what had already been screamed.

He sighed, standing from the sofa. He couldn't bear the cries anymore. He had to do something. He knew she wanted him gone before she woke to keep herself from more heartache, but he wouldn't let this go on. She needed comfort and though she was unlikely to want it from him, he was going to try. He didn't stop loving her, it was never the case.

"What?" She managed to ask when he entered the room. He didn't reply. He crawled into the bed with her, holding her close. More cries of sorrow shook her.

"I'm sorry." He whispered in her ear. "I don't want you to hurt any more than you have to. We both know this is awful now, but in the long run we would've caused more damage." She gripped his hands tightly. "I have to be strong enough to let you go. Maybe, at sometime, we can meet again like this." He spoke from the heart. He needed her to know how much he loved her, but that it wasn't going the way it should.

"Don't make promises you can't keep. Don't say things just to make me feel better." She pleaded between sobs. "It's done. Just let it be done." He kissed the back of her head. She wasn't ready to hear it, even though he believed it.

Tonight, he would give her the silence. In the morning, he would be on his way before she woke. Maybe, some time in the future, he'd come back into her life and be what she needed again. For now, quiet was needed. Proving once more, everything ended in silence.