i feel empty. My whole life has been dedicated to so many things, but that one, has taken all my dreams, the others are just projects, projects which i wont even care about not finish them.
im so tired, i have planed my all, cuz they always say "you must know what you want for your future" i know everything i want, but i did a mistake, for explain this, let me tell you something, i have a great imagination for invent future situations, every detail, emotions, alternatives, "bad endings", the end, what to do next, etc.
The great, or for me, horrible, thing. Is feel all of that, if there i cry, i will cry, if i get angry, same. I have already feel how my actual years old will feel. i dont have interest in knowing what the future have for me.
Nothing of this is involve with my present i live it has i can. with the often irritation, happiness, etc. But i know nowadays im just living because yes.
Lets talk about school, i love school, i love learning things and subjects, i hate homework, now, my situation is: i have always been good at study, taking the first places, in order to make my mother proud of me, i have cried for some bad notes, but i realized it is worthless. the last year, i get tired of the efforts it takes. Who knows why, but i mm lazy remember i get really bad that year, i only remember well that i cry in christmas and new years even.
This year, i take the decision of been lazy as fuck. but, but, hahahaha, now im stuck. I cant get myself out. I dont think this well and bad decision.
the relationship with my family, well its fine, not too confident, but its great, i guess. Friends? great too, i really love them all.
For write an end for this. i will say, if i dissappear, who knows how, or if i just still living cuz yes, or even if all of this is a "phase" and i get better. All of that will depend on me, and me, dont have right now, enough reasons to take other way.
Have a great day, love yourself, wash your hands, and keep writing.
End of Things.
