Thin Air (Complete EDITING)

37-Andrew

Andrew August 19, 2020

Knowing where I should be and getting myself to be there are two very different things. I am supposed to be with my brother and sister at the funeral home, but I was able to convince my chief that I would take days off when I needed them and that right now, I did not need them.

The only caveat is that I have been banished to desk work, which is better than the alternative. I cannot choose a box to put my dad in or a rock to set on his patch of dirt.

My unwillingness to be where I am supposed to be is why I am currently watching one of the rookie officers lead a scared old man through the maze of desks. I wonder what that's about.

I'm distracted by my desk phone before I can follow.

"This is Holt."

"Hello, Officer Holt. I'm sorry to hear about your dad's passing. I wanted to give you a heads up; your brother and sister just walked in."

"Thank you, Heather. I'll come up front right now."

Shit.

I drag my feet and take the literal longest route to the front lobby. I hate to disappoint them, I did enough of that as a kid, but I really do not want to go with them.

"Hey guys, I'm sorry for ditching out on you this morning. I just- I dunno, I can't."

Shannon pulls me in for one of her mom hugs. I've got a good half a head and 60 pounds on her, but she still treats me like a little boy. "I understand, we didn't make it to the funeral home anyways." She holds out a folder, "Your boss called and asked me to bring this down."

"What is this?" I can't make heads or tails of the report I'm thumbing through. "Oh," I look up at my brother, who has his hands shoved in his pockets, looking at his feet. "This is the inspection report for the original Youth Center. I didn't put it together yesterday, but that's where Erin was all this time."

"Yeah, she was."

"Come on back, I'll take you to the chief's office."

When we get there, the chief has his elbows on his desk, rubbing his temples while fixated on the screen before him. I knock on the open door frame. Whatever is in front of him prevents him from hearing.

"Chief, here are those papers you asked for."

He jumps from his chair, slamming his leg into the underside of his desk.

"Fuck, you guys can't be in here." He tries to usher us out but not before I hear sobs through the speakers.

"I didn't know what to do so I-I-I ---oh God. I picked her up and threw her into the bed of my truck."

Seth draws in a deep breath beside me. "What...?"

"I'm sorry, you guys really can't be in here for this. I don't know if this is admissible if you are present."

I look my superior straight in the eyes, "It'll be fine. We are not in that room with him, but we are not leaving this room now."

_________________________

The man on the screen does not match the one from my memory. This man is old and leathered. His bony shoulders are visible as they shake hunched beneath the thin plaid shirt hanging off of them. The Robert Kent of my memory was dark-haired and looked like he wrestled buffalos for fun.

The door opens, a second officer walks in and hands Robert a cup of what I suspect is the tarry coffee that flows freely in our breakroom. Only the best for APD.

It had been a smart move to have one of the female officers join them. He relaxes visibly when she says, "Sounds like I missed the part about the accident-" she really emphasizes accident,"-can you start over for me?"

"Okay. Sure, yeah. Well, Cal took off like a bat out of hell, threatening to out me as an adulterer, so I ran back into my house, grabbed my keys, and followed him. He didn't have more than a 5-minute headstart, but I couldn't find him anywhere and had given up. I decided to head home after searching town when I saw Cal's truck on the side of the road. I was going to flip around to try to talk some sense into him. "

Robert pulls in a shaky breath before continuing. "But then I panicked. The stress of the whole angry situation and the thin mountain air triggered an asthma attack. I was trying to pull over to get my inhaler. I didn't see her there. I swear I didn't. I wasn't trying to hurt anybody. I just wanted to talk to Cal. I couldn't breathe. What I had said about Barbie was cruel. He didn't deserve that, and her reputation shouldn't be tarnished. The affair had been a mistake on both of our parts."

"Of course, it was. You're a good guy, Robert." She placates him. "Then what happened?"

"I was almost off the roadway when I felt the thump. I jumped out of my truck right away. She had blood everywhere." He's crying so hard that it's hard to understand him now. "I ran right over her. She was dead before I had my truck parked. I was scared, so scared. I've never seen anything like it. Cal was passed out in front of his truck, so he didn't see anything. I-I picked her up and left." At this point, Robert's gaze was fixed on the table, and he had quit speaking.

"Fear will cause you to act out of character sometimes. I understand. Can you tell me what happened next?"

I don't think he is going to answer her for several minutes. We all just stand staring at the computer in shock. Seth quietly crying while Shannon soothes him.

"I knew from the smell of Cal that he would be too hungover to come inspect the gas lines that next morning. So I had time, I just sat and stared at her while I got up the nerve to pull her from the truck bed. Then I placed her in the ground, and poured cement over her." He finally looks up. "Would it be okay if I called Dean now? He is going to need to take over for me."

_________________

"Go home, Andrew. I will see you at your dad's service. Your family has a lot going on. They need you."

The words he's saying don't compute for several seconds. So I just stare while I try to absorb the chaos of these last days. My father is dead. Jamie and I decided to wait to tell Eli until after school today because, by the time I returned from Brandon's last night, he was asleep. It didn't seem right to tell him this morning and expect him to carry on like everything was okay throughout the day when neither of us would be home to comfort him. The body entombed in cement was my brother in law's first wife, who we had spent eighteen years looking for. I could do nothing as I watched my sister helplessly stand by while her husband learned the horrific details of Erin's death. And now, I am being pushed away from my job.

"Hey," My chief grasps my bicep in his sturdy hand, "please don't feel that I am forcing you out. I know this is a lot to deal with. You need to be with your family, not here."

"Okay, Sir."

The drive home is twice as long as usual because I am circling around the town, trying to sort my thoughts. I'm no closer to figuring out how to sift through this shitshow when I pull into my garage hours later.

A/N
Anyone see that coming?