Knowing Our Truth

Chapter 3: Not My Dad

Hawthorne knew he was being stupid. Even if he didn't, Kai had told him at least 7 times that he was an idiot. But there was a part of him that couldn't help but think there was something about his family that was hidden to him. Maybe it was just his mind telling him something was wrong. It felt like something was off.

He finally decided to text Sierra and ask her what the deal was. She told him all she knew. Her mother and Kayson had sex, she got pregnant, and knowing his past, she ran. Sierra hadn't met Kayson either. Word had gotten around that Kayson had other children, so Sierra had come to find him. Despite the whole being a twin thing, Hawthorne could believe it with no doubts. When he googled and found there was a small possibility of twins having different dads, he accepted it as truth.

All of this knowledge did nothing but mess with his brain and emotions. Which is a fancy way of saying he was being a dick to everyone. He couldn't stand to be with his family. He felt as though he wasn't supposed to be there. River, Eli, and Rose were a perfect unit, and he was the mistake.

He had to wonder how he got here. Sierra had no idea why he and Rose had different dads. Did River cheat? Did he cheat on Kayson with Eli? Did he cheat on Eli with Kayson? How did Hawthorne come to be?

"What ya thinking about, bud?" Eli asked him, plopping down beside him at the kitchen table. He was trying to finish some of his last homework assignments. He was trying to graduate in 2 months after all.

"I'm thinking that I want to finish this homework, thank you," he replied snarkily. Eli raised his eyebrows.

"Anything I can help with?"

"No." Hawthorne knew he was being rude, but Eli's presence made him angry nowadays.

"Are you sure? I'm pretty good at," Eli looked at the paper in front of him, furrowing his brow, "I think that's trigonometry."

"I don't need help, Eli," Hawthorne said, coldly.

"Hey, no need to be rude to your dad, young man," River scolded from the other room.

"I'm not being rude. I don't need help." Hawthorne huffed.

"Hawthorne Lucas Long, you are not going to pull an attitude with us right now. Apologize to your dad," River told him, coming into the kitchen. He had a stern look on his face. Hawthorne didn't get yelled at a lot. He was generally a good and respectful kid. So the patent 'River Stern Face' wasn't aimed towards him often.

"Can't you just leave me alone to do my work?" Hawthorne was raising his voice, and he knew that was going to get him in trouble. You weren't supposed to raise your voice to your parents.

"I don't know what's gotten into you, kiddo, but you need to cut it out. You've been in a rotten mood for a few days now," Eli told him, getting up from the table and standing next to River. The lecture stance.

"We aren't going to take this disrespect, Thorne. We just aren't." River stopped his lecture as Rose walked in with Taluelah. Their conversation fell silent as they sensed the tension in the room. "Everything okay?" Rose asked.

"Yes! God, I'm just trying to do homework, for fuck's sake," Hawthorne said and shot out of his seat. He gathered all his books and papers before stalking into his bedroom.

***

An hour later, the house was completely silent, save for the soft knock on Hawthorne's door. Rose didn't wait for a reply before she opened his door. "Hey Thorne, you wanna talk?"

"Not particularly," he admitted.

"Well, tough shit," Rose said quietly before sitting next to him on his bed. "What happened out there? You aren't one for yelling at dads like that."

"They were getting on my nerves."

"By doing what?"

Hawthorne stood up and started pacing back and forth. "Trying to help me do my homework." One of Rose's eyebrows quirked up.

"How dare they?" she asked, sarcastically.

"You don't understand, Rose. I just wanted to sit in the quiet and do my work. And they assume I need their help with everything." Hawthorne huffed, frustrated. He picked up a bouncy ball he had sitting on his desk, just to have something to do with his hands. "Dad wants to act like everything is the end of the world." He let his voice go to a whisper. "And then Eli comes in and wants to act like my dad or something."

"Excuse me," Rose interrupted, picking up on Hawthorne's whispers. "What are you talking about?"

"Nothing, Rose. Forget about it."

"How would Eli not be your dad? Are you dumb? He's our dad, always has been." Rose looked at Hawthorne like he'd grown another head.

"Maybe we don't know everything, ya know? Maybe our family has secrets." Hawthorne crossed his arms, leaning against his wall. "I've been doing some digging."

"Some digging? What? What made you ever think something so crazy?"

"A girl."

"So you sleep with some girl-."

"No! Fuck, Rose, no. A girl came up to me and Kai at the mall last weekend. She's from River and Eli's old neighborhood. And the people there have good reason to think that we have different dads." Hawthorne had never seen his sister look more confused, or more scared. To be fair, he probably did look crazy.

So he showed her his research. The Kayson article, the texts Sierra had sent him, the medical histories of twins with different biological fathers. To Rose's credit, she listened and asked questions where it was necessary. They sat on his bed for an hour going through what Hawthorne had found. "So, you see what I mean? What do you think?"

"I think you're crazy. But I understand why this would upset you." She looked again at the picture of Kayson that was pulled up on his laptop. "He does look like you a little bit, Thorne. But dads wouldn't have kept that a secret. We're almost 18. Do you really think they would keep that from you this long?"

Hawthorne sighed. "Maybe it was to protect me, in some weird parent way. This dude was a bad dude. Maybe they don't know he's dead, ya know?"

Rose gave him a sad smile before ruffling his hair. "You should talk to them. Like adults. See what they say. If you come to them with information, and it is true, they can't back out now." Hawthorne shrugged. "Think about it, okay? Just not too hard."

She stood off the bed, wished him a goodnight, and shut his bedroom door behind her.

***

Hawthorne laid in his dark room, tossing and turning, trying to fall asleep. The rushing thoughts through his brain was enough to keep him awake for decades. He chanted in his brain that he needed to sleep. The next day was Friday, a test day for a lot of his classes, and he couldn't afford to mess up so close to graduation. Not when the college he'd picked could change their mind at any time. He wasn't risking it.

He heard his phone vibrate on the end table next to the bed. He already knew he was going to be awake for a while longer. The phone lit up with a new text message.

Sierra: Party tomorrow? You in? I can show you some things ;)

Hawthorne wasn't much of a partier. He loved to be in groups and hanging out with people. He loved going to after game events with his soccer friends. But definitely not the kind of parties that Sierra would take him to. He wasn't a drinker, didn't smoke, wasn't a fan of weed. So it's anybody's guess why Hawthorne typed out Sure and hit send.

Knowing Our Truth upload schedule

Chapter 4 - 10/13

Chapter 5 - 10/16