Chapter 29

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Emily expected all eyes to be on them when they returned to the others. But it was quite the opposite. Two officers were heads down, studying laptop screens ablaze with digits, surrounded by what looked like a table cloth of maps on the flat surface before them. The rest of the crew had found nooks and crannies to lie down in and seemed to be sleeping.

"What's going on?" she asked Finn as he led her over to their original jump seats.

"They are getting some shut-eye. Resting up before the ...."

"Oh" Emily looked around. Resting up because they did not know when they were going to get the chance to sleep again. A reminder this was not a routine mission. Emily resisted the urge to squeeze Finn's hand, not wanting him to know just how scared she was of what was about to happen. This was a temporary reprieve.

Finn was going to leave her.

Again.

It was all she could think about. Or rather not think about. When the sergeant had interrupted them, telling Finn time was up, Emily could not let him go. Something took over. Her body and heart were determined to get on this plane. Her brain kept trying to intervene, knocking away, shouting this was insane. She should not be here.

But Finn was here.

He put his arm around her and tucked her into him. Perhaps he was feeling the weight of the situation as well. Gazing up at him she noticed the dark circles under Finn's eyes.

"When was the last time you got some sleep?" she found herself asking.

He looked away guiltily. Reaching out her hand, gently grasping his chin, Emily brought him back to face her. "Finn?"

He sighed. "A couple of days..."

Days. Not since...

"Since the night of the party. The night you left me your note?"

Finn bobbed his head in a tiny, almost embarrassed movement.

Emily hugged him tighter. As she started to apologize again, he spoke first.

"I held out hope maybe you were delayed. Made up excuses for why you didn't call. Like your family needed you." He banged his head against the wall behind them. "It never occurred to me you didn't get the letter."

Emily felt hot tears prick at her eyes with the thought of him sitting there, hour upon hour, waiting for her, thinking she did not return his love.

"I didn't know what to do with myself. I couldn't eat, couldn't sleep. It felt like it did before...the last time." The arm around her tightened and Emily gladly nestled closer to him. "I had to do something or I was going to lose my mind. Then this assignment came up. I spent every moment possible - preparing. All to keep my thoughts away from...well you know."

"Finn, I'm so sorry. I don't know how it happened." She tried to explain. Walked through how it must have gotten mixed into her case folders, how she had felt during the week and had come in on Saturday just to spy on him. When she finished, he was silent. Did he not believe her?

Emily pulled away enough from Finn to look up at him. His eyes were closed. Sleeping.

He was peaceful. Beautiful. Suddenly he looked so young. The concern or responsibility or whatever emotion drove him normally colouring his face, his posture, his movements - had disappeared. The hard-line of his mouth gave way to soft lips she ached to kiss again.

That was a dangerous path. She had barely been able to stop herself moments ago. When Finn placed his hands on her every cell in her body awoke. Alive in ways she hadn't been in years. It felt amazing, like breathing fresh air. She wanted those rough hands to be everywhere, do everything. Followed by his lips. And more.

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