𝐓𝐑𝐀𝐃𝐄𝐒 𝐈𝐍 𝐋𝐎𝐕𝐄

🅴🅿︎ 🅵🅾︎🆄🆁🆃🅴🅴🅽 🅱︎

Make sure to follow my Instagram on updates and if you just want to talk!( katlas27)

Also, "B" chapters from this point on are not included in the countdown. So for instance, this chapter wouldn't be counted in the countdown as nineteen chapters remain. It'll still be twenty until I post chapter fifteen. There won't be too many of these but just a heads up.

Continued from last chapter...

Victor's POV

It was lunchtime as I sat on top of my car eating a cheesesteak hearing Kinsley and Armelle talk to their friends. I don't have much on my mind but one thing and for the past two weeks I've been around just...there. Everybody is worried about me and I for one am not happy with myself.

I'm not the type to just sit around not joining in on conversations. I'm the one with the slick mouth and care-free attitude that honestly makes for a lot of fun in some situations. I'm not cursing out people like I usually do and many are concerned. I know, it seems like something someone should be happy about----not being a sassy dick. But that's in my personality and knowing the reason why kills me.

I don't like being taken out of character.

Jahmiah and I haven't spoke in a while because he wanted space. The issue still remains with me taking care of him and his living needs. It just didn't get across to him that I just wanted the best for him and to make sure he has no troubles but he wanted to do it for himself. There's no problem in that wanting to do all those things but completely pushing me away when I ask if you're fine and if you need something---yeah, no.

As much as I'd like it not affect me, it does so because it's him. It affects me in ways that make me want to stomp up to him and smack the shit out of him and then succumb to my feelings which sounds gross and disgusting. Imagine me moping around being all sad and shit, that's not for me. What I'm doing now doesn't equate to that though.

I'm merely just there. Everything is bland and I don't have the interest to really even breathe.

This is something I'll only say once and never again because me uttering it even in my thoughts make me feel weak and exposed to everyone. I of course have my own dominance and it's something else but when you put Jahmiah in a room next to me, really testing the range there...he overpowers me. He has this control over many aspects of me that I wish I had full control of. But ever since the day I let him in, he gained access to all of that.

So when he's laughing with all these other people, talking to girls, and not breathing on my neck like I'm used to---it's like the feeling of control is back in my hands but it doesn't feel normal anymore.

Like even though he stole the keys to my locked up emotions and I should be wary of that, when he gave them back the moment he told me we shouldn't speak for a bit; I wanted to hand them back over. It's something indescribable the way those words hit me. And I've taken quite the punch.

"You alright baby bro?", Kinsley asked as she sat on the car next to me along with Armelle.

"I feel so spineless like dad when mama cussed him out so bad he almost cried. He looked weak as fuck and I think I'm feeling what he may have." They laughed at the instance I used as it was pretty funny. I remember that day, he stayed quiet that entire night and even did chores for the first time ever according to what mama said.