Ever Since New York

We're Not Who We Used To Be

The door opened around one a.m. and my nerves shot up. I had expected Bradley to be home about two hours ago which only spiked my anxiety when he didn't show.

I tried sitting still but I ended up pacing in front of the bed before he came in the room. Was I doing the right thing? Or was this just going to damage me more?

When Bradley walked into the room, tugging his shoes off, he looked surprised. "You're still awake?" he said, his blue eyes startled. He tugged off the white shirt he had on, throwing it near the hamper. I clenched my jaw, knowing he would expect me to pick that up and if I didn't, it would be my fault the room was dirty.

"I-." I honestly didn't know what to say. I couldn't sleep? I don't think we have a healthy relationship?

"I thought you didn't feel good?" he asked with a slight edge to his voice.

"I didn't but-."

"Why are you still up?" An accusatory look glinted in his eyes.

I stared at him, remembering the person I fell in love with. The person who convinced me he wanted to take care of me.

He'd bring me coffee from Corner Brew to brighten my day. Sneak me into his building to show me how producing works. Buy little odds and ends of décor that didn't really match our theme but he was proud he contributed.

"Kimber?"

His voice jolted me out of my reverie, and I said the first thing that comes to mind. "We're not who we used to be."

"What?"

God, I needed a smoke.

"We don't act like we use to act."

His eyes narrowed. "What is that supposed to mean?"

I licked my lips, not sure where I was going and what exactly to say. "You've changed," I said before also adding, "I've changed."

"That's what people do, Kimber. They grow."

I bit my lip, knowing he was avoiding what I was saying. There was no way he didn't see it, too. Or was he blind to the way he acted. Did he think the way he treated me was acceptable? Normal? The hollowness inside my chest ached as I stared at him.

"If we've grown," I chose my next words carefully, "then we've grown in the wrong way."

He completely froze, glaring at me as if daring me to say anything else. "Are you saying I haven't treated you right?"

My lips curled into my mouth and I bit down on them. That's exactly what I was saying.

Bradley's eyes lit up with malice and he took a step towards me. I held my ground even though I wanted to take multiple steps back.

"How haven't I treated you right, huh? I let you stay home for months on end because you were mentally not capable of working. I let you work on your make believe worlds and pretend like you're going to get anywhere with it. I allow you to be friends with Heather even though she is not good for you. I have done nothing but treat you right."

My mouth fell open. I thought that was something that only happened in cartoons or movies, but my jaw was open. I couldn't seem to close it.

"Are you serious?" I finally said. "You made me stay home and convinced me I didn't need a job. You cooped me up in this apartment."

"You were broken because of your family."