SATELLITE HEART [A BARLEY LIGHTFOOT x READER STORY]

chapter 15

Barley went home late in the afternoon. They offered him a wheelchair to leave in. He kept saying no, insisting that he was fine to walk. He took your hand and Laurel and Ian followed behind him. Barley had already talked to Laurel about you staying with them. She said yes, telling him that it was sweet of him to let you stay, and then telling you later on that she was grateful you offered to stay and take care of him. You didn't understand --- Barley was sick, but he didn't act it or look it. He didn't need anyone to take care of him. He walked out of the hospital easily, he talked like everything was right and normal in the world, he was happy and lively and you didn't see anything sick about him. 

You rode with Barley in Guinevere. He drove. Ian rode with Laurel. He hadn't said a word to you since you picked him up from school. 

"Did Ian say anything about me to you?" you asked Barley, looking out of the window. It was rainy. Droplets ran down the glass. You let your finger trail the path of one as it dripped from top to bottom. "I'm not asking 'cause I'm mad at him or anything. I know he doesn't like me."

"No, he hasn't said anything," Barley said, voice hard.

"What should I do?" 

"You know, I've never been really good with dealing with Ian. I tried to pretend that I was, but he was always embarrassed of me and he never really liked me being around him."

"But he's not like that anymore---"

"I know, it was really just the trip with Dad that changed his mind about me. I like to pretend that I know what I'm doing, but I don't. I'm not really the best person for you to ask." He looked at you and smiled sadly. 

You tried to smile but couldn't. Your eyes went back to the window, to the rain pounding against it. You knew the best thing for Ian would be you leaving and never coming back.

You tried to not be sad as you walked into the Lightfoot house. Barley was so happy to be home. Everyone else was so sad that he was sick. You followed Barley into his messy room. He collapsed backwards onto his bed, arms spread out, and sighed happily as he fell against it. Blazey jumped up with him and attacked him playfully. Barley laughed, hugging her close and pushing her face away from his as she tried to lick him. You smiled and moved to his office chair, taking a seat there and pulling your legs up against your chest. You hugged them tightly.

Ian came in and sat down with Barley on his bed as he sat up. Blazey jumped to his lap for only a moment before she went back to Barley, wrapping her tail all the way around him as she ran around in circles. 

"I think she really missed you, Barley," Ian laughed, petting her as she moved. 

"I think she did too," Barley said.

You let go of your knees and let your legs move back to the floor. You stood up and Barley looked at you. "Where are you going?" 

"I'm going to get my bag out of the van," you told him. 

"I can get it for you," he said. 

"Oh it's okay," you replied. "I'll be right back." You left the bedroom and pulled the door closed again. The rain was pouring when you walked out the front door. You didn't bring your jacket so you ducked your head as you left. You unlocked Guinevere and opened the back, reaching in to take your bag. You threw it over your shoulder and shut the door, locking it with the key and rushing back inside. 

"It's really coming down out there now," Laurel said as you came inside.

"Yeah," you said, breathless. Your hair was dripping now. You kicked off your drenched shoes and took off your sweatshirt. You shivered in thin tank top you were in now. "I think I'm going to steal a sweatshirt from Barley now."

"Good luck finding clean laundry in there," she said. "I feel like his clothes never make their way to the laundry basket."

"I'll try to find some and start a load." You smiled.

"You're the best, sweetie. Thank you!" She touched your arm as you passed.

In the hallway, you reached for the doorknob of the wooden door, only to stop at the rare sound of Ian's raised voice.

"No, no do not tell me what isn't fair!"

You pressed your ear to the door. "Ian," Barley was pleading, "calm down."

"Don't tell me to calm down!" Ian shouted. "You are acting like I'm jealous or something. I'm not. We aren't kids anymore, Barley. I don't get why she has to be here. I don't get why we stopped hanging out when started to like her. That's what bothers me."

"I just got distracted, Ian. I'm sorry---"

"Yeah, you got distracted, and now we are out of time. And the last quest we went on we didn't even complete it! And it was one of Dad's quests! That should be our thing, Barley, and we should have found that emerald together, not sat by the water for the whole day. That so isn't you. And now our chance is over and I didn't even get one last quest with my brother!"

"You are acting like that was our forever last quest," Barley laughed. "Dude. I'm right here! There are plenty more chances for us to discover what is out there."

"Barley," Ian said. "You're sick. You're what-Dad-had-sick. You're not... you can't... there isn't gonna be anything out there to help you. Just like there wasn't for him."

Your eyes widened and you stepped back, feeling sick and faint. The door opened. Ian didn't look at you. He rushed out of the room, yanking the hood of his jacket up over his head to hide his crying face as he ran for his room. And you stood in the doorway of Barley's room, speechless.

Barley sat on the side of his bed, his hands in fists in his hair, his face cast downward.

And what could you do except close the door softly and give him time to grieve the loss of his own life?