Give me your loneliness and I'll give you mine Leave all your tears by your bedside, and let's live a night I know you feel a mess and your pillow won't dry (Dry) You come lay on me instead for a night
- Pillows, Eaj & Keshi
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Lucas didn't know what to feel.
He didn't want to accept that he was no stranger to this feeling—anger, realization and disappointment. The bed creaked and he closed his eyes, sighing to himself when he felt hands wrap around his waist from behind. He tried his hardest to not lash out on her, to hold it in.
He hated how he knew what he was signing up for and he hated that whatever Midnight said was right—they were friends; nothing more, nothing less. He wondered if he latched on to her because she was comfortable or because it was because he began to have feelings.
The female behind him pressed her face against his back and Lucas swallowed, his body stiffening momentarily when he turned to see her smiling at him. Flashes of memories of Midnight's voice made Lucas frown when he looked at her and forced a smile.
"Whatcha thinking about?" she asked, the furry tilting her head at him.
He had to stop calling her 'The Furry' in his head, Lucas thought, resorting to her real name.
"Nothing," he lied, placing his arms behind his head to provide himself leverage, his mind running places. He had a habit of falling down a rabbit hole, thinking of the same things over and over again when he noticed the bruises on her the female's skin.
He absentmindedly reached out, smoothing a finger over the dark and red purple marks on her neck, Heeyoung following his gaze.
"You bruised me," she stated and he chewed on his bottom lip. He found himself thinking that he liked the marks on Midnight better than her. He liked that he could paint her skin like the sunset and how she would frown when he pointed it out to her. He liked how he could run his fingers on the arch of her neck and despite just having him deep inside her, her body responded to his touch like no other.
"I'm sorry," Lucas replied and he wondered if he was saying sorry to her or if he was saying sorry to himself. He should have been more careful with his feelings; he had been so careful for so long and yet here he was, trying to handle another set of emotions he vowed to never drown in ever again.
Lucas glanced at the clock to see that it was 3 am, the time of the night he would be under the covers with her, thinking to himself that he wouldn't want 7 am to come. He had been lying to himself all along, thinking that love was something he could avoid if he protected himself but yet it slapped him hard on the face.
With that though, he sighed, turning to look at Heeyoung.
"You have to leave," he told her softly and he watched as her eyes change. From confusion, to annoyance then to hurt. He wished he could capture how hurt she looked because then he would keep replaying it in his head and remind himself that maybe that was how he looked like when he confronted Midnight.
