Saving Death

Chapter 16

Adrenaline coursed through my veins and I spent the remainder of the night staring into the darkness, turning over the night's events in my head. I couldn't decide if spying on Sam had been a bad choice or a huge breakthrough. Seline was a witch who could do real magic. I'd seen her use it to bring down Sam. His voice still lingered in my mind. It had been so raw—so animalistic. What was he? I felt like my entire reality had come cascading down around me to reveal a whole parallel world I'd never noticed, right under my nose. What else was real that I'd read about as a child? It was as exciting as it was intimidating. Then I thought of Sam and the way Seline had reduced him to a begging heap of pain. It was horrible watching him suffer, but I didn't want to imagine what could have happened if Seline hadn't been there. 

As I stared blindly at the strip of morning sunlight on the ceiling, I found myself wondering if Sam had woken up yet. Seline had assured me he'd be fine, but I doubted anyone could be fine after that kind of torture. All the same, I'd come home and tried to take comfort in the knowledge that she knew him far better than I did. She had explained the very least to me; she was trying to help Sam. I'd asked her what kind of help, but she'd simply smiled. I knew that meant I had to wait. Sam needed to be ready to tell me.

            Shaking off the residual nervous energy still pent up inside me, I climbed out of bed and got my things ready for college. I needed to get up and get going if I was to make it through today. I just hoped my lessons would be enough to distract me so that the day wouldn't feel like a year. Who was I trying to kid? Nothing would tear my mind from thinking about Sam. I needed to see him, but I knew that was unlikely to happen today. If he had any recollection of last night, he was sure to avoid me so he didn't have to answer any questions. So I made a promise with myself, that if I did see him today, I wouldn't ask him any questions. Seline had assured me that he would tell me when he thought it necessary, and I believed her. Perhaps he'd feel inclined to tell me a little quicker if I feigned disinterest. Reverse psychology: a phenomenon that my mum used to use to great effect on me, that was until I learnt about it at school.

An hour later, I pulled my car through the college gates and parked beside the sports hall, reminding me of the night Zac had died—the night Sam had told me how he felt. A pang of guilt sprung up inside me. What was I supposed to do with that memory? Was it a happy one or a sad one? Pushing the memory from my mind, I gathered up my things and climbed out of the car into the chilly carpark. I had maths first, but it didn't start for another hour. I thought I might as well go to the library and work on that biology essay I'd been avoiding. At least then I could pretend I was doing something productive, even if all I did was mull over every tiny moment I'd had with Sam in the past few months. I knew I should probably try to find Louisa and share with her what I'd found out. She'd want to know. If Blake was the same as Sam, she deserved to know, but selfishly, I wanted to keep this to myself for the moment. If Sam found out I'd been sharing secrets with Louisa, I was sure he wouldn't trust me enough to say more. My gut instinct was not to utter a word more about this.

It was still early as I entered the library and it was deadly quiet, apart from one other student returning books before class. Relieved, I made my way towards the steps and climbed up to the third floor. The third floor was very rarely used and just held a collection of very old anthologies and encyclopedias, so I knew if there was anywhere to hide away, it would be here. I found a quiet spot near the back of the building behind a row of dusty bookshelves with books that clearly hadn't been touched in years. Although tucked away in a dimly lit corner, I could still glimpse the world outside, from my hiding place. A small vertical window stretched from floor to ceiling and looked out over the grassy common. I watched as students and teachers bustled off in different directions oblivious to my eyes on them. I should have been here to do work, but as soon as I slumped down in a chair, I knew that wasn't going to happen. It was the perfect place to think, away from any prying eyes. There was no pressure to put on a mask of calm, which was good as my mind was racing.