This is a poem for....
Myself
My life
Why people didn't understand
When I wanted to quit
When life put me down
When life threw it's doors open just for those doors to be locked back up by discrimination and my personal Hell of my own problems
The Hell I lived through for four years
The life I lived.
I was a kid,sitting in a room with mom and a book,
'The Giving Tree'
It read as I was sad from the ending which took a hook,
on my life.
My mother was so tender and caring
I didn't know she,and many people I trusted would become my own living Hell.
My personal Hell and it was horrible,
the floors,warped with prayers and bible verses I had to stand on,
The walls painted with a shaggy coat of hatred and paranoia I had to be around,
A room I wish I could go back to but it's locked and being destroyed with my hope,my childhood room I sat and played in,not worrying about my life outside of my dollhouse and play clothes,
The halls were twists and turns for my life as I grew up,I couldn't count them.
The door,written on it were the things I had to go back to everyday after school,
My own personal Hell,just for me.
Life has twists and turns that take you amazing places but all the halls that had opportunities only had caution tape put up by the rules I was meant to follow saying,
"It's too dangerous for you,you're too young,there's so much more out there. Stop thinking this."
When I look to find my heaven,I get mislead to a staircase that has broken in floor boards and rusty nails and a chipping splinter filled rail as my only sort of balance while I'm barefoot,
And a little kid again,being scared of that same staircase as a kid
The stair that was
Dark
Carpeted
Clean
And nice
Was now
Dark
Horrifying
And I thought I could do it later because I was older now and I could do it!
I had no determination,
Only fear.
Now when I look back I think,
"I only saw what wasn't there of the stair."
I learned that life looks scary at first but it isn't one you
Live a little.
I tried out my life and it got me to where I am now,
With friends
With people who support me
And with people who care about me.
I never imagined myself as anything other than straight and a girl but my mom got too accustomed to it,
So much she thinks anything else has no existence.
I love myself and no matter what I won't stop loving myself.
Bye
