Kairos || luke h.

Ironic

(adv.) When people complain about other people complaining.

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Calum's pov

As I was walking through the hall, I heard Michael and Ashton playing Call of Duty with the PS4. Of course, it consisted of Michael screaming, jumping and swearing. Then Ashton telling him to stop swearing. Pretty funny if you weren't in the middle of the fight.

"Holy shit! I hate this fucking game. I don't know what the fuck I have to do!"

"Don't you dare to talk to me that way Michael"

"And who the hell are you? My mother?"

"What is wrong with you? Can you calm down, please?"

"I WON'T CALM A FUCKING SHIT, OKAY"

"OMG, MICHAEL STOP SWEARING! Is not that difficult to replace f*ck to freck, for example."

"WON'T YOU EVER STOP BULLSHITING ME?!"

"Oh god, Mike, I-I-I can't let yo-yo-u..."

What the hell? Was Ashton about to cry? This is the oddest thing I've ever experience. I knew that I had to enter the room, ASHTON NEVER CRIES!

"HEY! You two stop it. Ashton, what the fuck is wrong with you? Are you crying?

"DO YOU HAVE SHIT IN YOUR HEAD CALUM? I AM NOT CRYING, I CAN'T STAND MICHAEL ANYMORE. I'VE ALREADY COUNT TO 100 AND HE DOESN'T SHUT THE FUCK UP."

"Oh, fine. And then I'm the one who can't swear."

"Ok, Ashton. You need to calm down too, I'm sorry, it wasn't my intention to swear. Now breathe with me. In, out; in, out..."

"We are not in a fucking class of yoga Calum. Oh wait! It sounds like you're trying to teach Ashton how to fuck, poor virgen..."

"Bad timing Michael"

"Stop Calum, let ME talk to him. Michael, forgive me. Now, could you please stop swearing, because it makes me nervous"

"Hell no! Leave me fucking alone Ashton"

"Oh... So that's what you want, uh? Great, I'm also leaving this band"

"Not even kidding Ashton!"

"Don't worry Cal, he doesn't have the balls"

"Can somebody tell me what's happening? 'Cause you 3 don't let me sleep in peace"

"Is not the right monent Luke..."

"Okay, you're right... I would never leave this band because I'll never do such thing to OUR fans... but I WILL LEAVE this room, OK? Get out of the way Luke!

Ashton left the room banging the door.

" AmazeBALLS! Now somebody expla..."

Luke couldn't finish the sentence before Ashton appeared again and said "Do you know what Michael? I DO have balls, and they are bigger than yours". Then he went away.

"Double amaze -tiny vs huge- balls".

"You son of a bitch!" Michael screamed to Ash.

I pushed Michael to the sofa and grabbed him from his shoulders.

"If you don't stop, I'll make you stop"

"Oh, that sounds hot" Luke whispered.

"Shut it Luke"

"Yeah, shut your vagina up Lukey" Michael added.

"Oh, fuck you Mikey"

"Well, everybody knows that the term for that action is masturbate, right? Hahahaha"

"At least I can do it, I have my pinky " vagina", RIGHT?"

I understood what Luke meant and I couldn't stop laughing. However, we all know that Michael gets angry when we play with his dick's size, hahaha; but this will finish bad...

"You know what? Fuck you guys, I'm leaving too"

"Hey, don't swear" Luke said just to piss him off.

"I do what I want, I'm punk rock"

"No, you're not" I got to scream.

I couldn't handle myself. All this situation was so hilarious and ironic. And everything started because Michael didn't learn how to play on the PS4 yet.

I explained to Luke, with every detail possible, what happened while he was taking a nap. At the moment I finished we started laughing so hard that Ashton came by to see if Michael was still angry. He was really sorry that I felt pity for him, so we hugged him. Then I thought about Michael... in a few hours will be having dinner and we all know that with a big meal he forgives you.

"Uhh... Ashton, who are you talking with?" Luke asked.

"My fans... And tweeting an insinuation for Mike"

"Nobody said it was easy"

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A/N

Hey! It's 11:11 and my wish is that this fanfic gets more readers :)

I hope you like the chapter based specially in 5sos and how I think their fights might be. I tried to do it as funny as posible, so if I stole you, at least one smile, let me know it please. And, btw, I'm not a perver but I wanted to focus on how boys talk to each other, and, anyway... It's fun! Thanks for reading.