Capturing Hue

Episode 11

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"Don't ever be afraid to show off your true colors."

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Episode 11

Why will you be afraid of showing what you really are?

"I'm. . . bisexual, Tanniah."

I am still shocked by Jeremiah's sudden confession that I can't believe it. I mean, we're not that close and I just always see him around the campus, flirting with a lot of girls. How come that he's. . .

"Oh? Okay..." I just said after a while. 

Siguro kung ibang tao ay ayos lang talaga sa kanila na sabihin na may different gender ang kausap nila. It's the 21st century anyways. But for me. . . It's. . . different.

I'm not a hundred percent supporter of LGBTQ+ community and I have no knowledge in it because I'm too focused on myself and my parent's expectations that I didn't know that problems like these even exist!

Wala akong kaalam-alam sa paligid ko at ayo'ko rin naman na makihalubilo sa mga pa-woke na tao. I just. . . actually don't know. Which side should I support? Hindi ba pwedeng walang pinapanigan at basta'y hindi ako nakakapanakit ng damdamin ng isang tao? 

I think that's the best. To respect them with their decisions in life and as a human, not based on their gender. Respect doesn't mean that you'll support them. As long as you will not cross the line and you will be mindful of your words, I think that's alright.

Ayos nga lang ba. . . talaga?

"Kung. . . uhm. . . bisexual ka, why do you look too. . . manly?" I covered my mouth with my hand because of what I've just said. Get your shit, together! I saw him giggle manly. I can't believe it!

"I just said that I'm bisexual. Meaning that I can slay in both genders. I can like and love both genders. Ikaw pa lang ang. . . unang napagsasabihan ko nito. . ." he shyly said. Napabagsak na lang ang bibig ko sa gulat.

"B-bakit ako lang?" 

"I'm afraid that they'll judge me for what I am. I'm afraid to be criticized by a lot of people. Baka sabihin ng mga tropa kong lalaki na chi-na-chancing-an ko na pala sila dati dahil bisexual ako. . . And. . ." he paused before lowering his head.

"Hindi naman ako tanggap ng pamilya ko."

Napatahimik kaming dalawa dahil sa sinabi niya. How cruel it is to not be accepted by his own family. Kahit ako. . . Alam ko ring hindi matatanggap ng pamilya ko kung sasabihin ko na gusto kong maging musikero. I know that they'll disown me for pursuing the wrong path.

"I'm sorry to hear that. . ." That's the only thing that I could say. I don't know about these things. The only thing I could do is to listen.

"No, don't be. Sana lang ay hindi mo agad ako hinusgahan agad pagkasabi ko sa'yo no'n." He gave me a small smile and I looked away, feeling guilty.

Yes, I've judged him quickly. Gano'n na lang ako lagi. Lagi ko na lang hinuhusgahan muna ang mga tao bago sila pakinggan. I'm a selfish and self-centered bitch dahil hindi ako natututo. I always judge people.

"I-i'm really. . . uhm. . . sorry. I don't actually know what to say . . . uhm. . . but if. . ." I sighed heavily. Talaga bang sasabihin ko 'to?