seasickness ~ percabeth

Chapter 11 (Annabeth)

I was sitting in Percy's cabin, trying not to cry and shakily putting away his things. He had clothes, various supplies, and junk food thrown everywhere (even though junk food wasn't technically allowed in camp). I started cleaning to just have something, anything to do that wasn't worrying about him.

I started to straighten out his bed, and picked up his pillow to move it, but there was something underneath. I sighed, thinking it was a candy wrapper of some sort, until I picked it up.

It was a picture of me, Percy, and Grover, when we were 12 or 13, hanging out in Sally's apartment. Percy was mid-laugh, blue cookie crumbs on the corner of his mouth. In the picture, I was smiling at him. Wow, how did I not realize how in love with him I was back then? I wondered.

Grover was munching on a can, completely oblivious. It seems that Sally had caught us off guard with the picture. I smiled through my tears; what happy times those had been.

I turned the picture over to the back; there, Percy had scrawled something in his messy handwriting.

Always and forever, Wise Girl.

I started to cry (for the tenth time that day). I turned the picture back over and outlined Percy's laughing face; he hardly ever laughed these days. War takes a toll.

That made me cry harder. The only way I could get any semblance of sleep was if I slept in Percy's cabin, wrapped in his blankets. Sometimes, I could almost imagine him there with me.

It's like I was gasping for air even though all the oxygen had been sucked out of my lungs.

I leaned over, trying to turn off my tears, but I couldn't. I couldn't get Percy's bright smile out of my head. The way he looked when he strangled Akhyls in Tartarus. The way his eyes light up when he sees me. The pained expression on his face when he stood in my doorway.

"Please, Percy. Please come back. I forgive you, ok? Just please don't leave me again," I whispered to the picture. I was aware that he wasn't here with me, but I needed to tell him. That I'm not mad. I just want an explanation. Well, I'm a little bit mad.

I twisted my ring habitually, feeling anxious and sad.

Just then, Piper walked in. I jumped up, shoving the picture back under his pillow and wiping my tears. There's no way I'll let her see me like this.

"Annabeth, we have to go," Piper said sadly.

"Piper, I- I can't. She'll be devastated. She just got him back, and now I'm telling her she might not ever see him again?" I knew exactly who she was talking about; Percy's mom. I didn't want to tell her that Percy had disappeared again. That poor woman deserved a break. And frankly, so did I.

"...She deserves to know."

"Not yet. We can... maybe we can find him," I begged, sounding desperate and needy to my own ears. Since when do I act this way?

"Annabeth... Nico thinks he might be dead," Piper said quietly.

"NO!" I screamed, all logic out the window. He isn't dead. He can't be dead.

"No, he's not... He can't. Ok? He just can't. I will find him, I will," I definitely sounded desperate, but I didn't care.

"Annabeth-"

"No, Piper. Don't. He's alive. I'm sure of it," I didn't sound very sure, but I needed him to be alive. I needed it. I glared at the ceiling, aiming it at the gods.

"I'll find you," I swore, and Piper looked uncomfortable.

"You don't know that," Piper said in a low voice, and I wanted to strangle her. Instead, I took a deep breath.

"I will find him, ok? I did it before. I'll do it again."

"Annabeth, have you considered that he may not want to be found? I mean, he broke up with you for a reason, right?"

That hit me like a ton of bricks. What if he left on purpose? What if he didn't want me to come find him?

"No, Piper. You didn't see him. It was like someone was forcing him to. He is alive and I will find him. Maybe punch him a couple times."

Piper sighed, and nodded, and walked out of the room. I know she thought I was crazy. I didn't care.

Why can't we ever catch a break? We've been on nonstop quests and fighting in wars we didn't cause since we twelve. All I wanted was to just grow old with Percy, live a life without worrying about him disappearing every second.

I'm done breaking down, and I'm done crying. I've had enough time to mope and feel bad for myself; I'm done. I'm going to find Percy, and I'm going to do it soon. Preferably so I can kill him myself.