As I waited on something-other than the never ending darkness that I was consumed in-I began to hear things.
Like, people saying my name.
"Tori, come on hon. Stay with us."
Like, the sound of doors opening and closing.
The sound of people arguing.
"Maybe if you'd been there this wouldn't have happened!"
"You were there! I'm not the only one who can calm her down! Why didn't you stop the attack!"
"I didn't know!"
"Guys, please. Stop arguing."
I would hear a never ending silence, one that made me feel so lonely I wished I was dead.
Maybe I was dead. Maybe I was a ghost now, and I was unable to see because I was a terrible person.
But at least I could hear the people I loved. And they were talking to me. At least they knew I was haunting them.
I heard everyone. Andy would come in and talk to me about how he's so sick of everyone arguing at the cabin that he might stop being straightedge and drink so he can drown them all out. Joe would come in and talk about the headaches he'd been getting, and how he wished I were there to shut everyone up. Pete was there all the time, telling me he was so sorry this happened to me and that he missed me. He often cried, begging me to come back. Joey would come and talk about the old days when I first moved in with him in Chicago, and how he always knew I liked Fall Out Boy, even when I pretended to hate them. Jamie would come in and talk about how she really liked Pete, but she wasn't sure if he liked her back or if it would ever work out. Even Elisa would appear, and talk to me about how much she knew Patrick loved me, and how much he wanted me to come back.
But the one person I never heard was Patrick. He never talked to me.
There was this one person, however. It could've been Pete, or maybe someone else-probably Jamie, she was a cryer-that was always sobbing. It was a terrible sound. I wished I could speak so I could beg them to stop. It killed me. Broke my heart. Tore me to pieces.
How can a dead persons heart break?
One day, I was in agony listening to the sobbing. Pete had left a little while ago, and he had been in a good mood. A few minutes after he'd gone came the cryer, and he or she had been here for hours.
That's when I felt warmth. It took me a moment to register it, because it was the first thing i had felt since I had the attack. But it was definitely there. Warmth. In my right hand.
I could feel everything. I wasn't fuzzy anymore. I could feel my arms, my legs, everything. Including my eyelids, which I could now open.
I regretted it the second I did.
There was a blinding light above me, and I immediately closed them again. What the fuck was that? I barely opened my eyes and slowly adjusted to the light. Soon, I could open them all the way.
I wasn't dead.
I was awake.
And there was still someone sobbing beside me.
I managed to turn my head. My body was stiff, and it hurt slightly. My head also hurt, but I ignored it. I could see that I was in a hospital bed, and that I was attached to a lot of machines.
I could also see Patrick sitting next to me.
He held my hand-which explained the warmth-and his face was hidden under his other arm. He was crying, and the broken sound broke my heart even more now that I knew it was him.
"Pat-Trick." I said, but my voice caught because of how dry my throat was.
He heard me.
His head shot up. He looked terrible. His face was very pale, there were dark shadows under his eyes, and his face was tearstained.
"Tori?" He squeaked.
I squeezed his hand-which gratefully didn't hurt-and he held it a little tighter.
"Tori!" He exclaimed.
He shot to his feet and pressed the call button on my bed.
"Can I help you?" A nurse said.
"Tori Eaton is awake." He said.
"We'll be right there."
"Tori, oh baby. I love you so much. It's been so long since I saw those beautiful eyes. God. I thought you were going to die-I'm so glad you're okay." He rambled, sitting back down.
"How-how long?" I asked.
He handed me a glass of water. "Here." He said.
I sipped it while he answered my question.
"It was Friday the 10th that you had the panic attack. It's Monday the 20th now." He said.
I almost spat the drink out. "I've been out for over a week?" I demanded.
He nodded and stroked my forehead. "Shhh. Don't freak out." He said.
The doctor came in. "Ah, the man wasn't kidding." He said. "Hi, Tori. I'm dr. Throne. I've been taking care of you while you've been here."
"Hi." I said.
"How are you feeling? Are you dizzy? Do you feel faint?" He asked.
"No. I feel like I slept way too late." I said.
"That's good. Are you experiencing any memory loss? Can you remember what happened?" He asked.
"I can remember what happened when I was conscious." I said.
"That's also good. That means you didn't experience any brain damage when you hit your head. Which is fantastic news." He said.
"Then why wasn't I waking up?" I asked.
"Your body went into a type of shock that I like to call 'panic shock'. You were having a panic attack, and your brain was attempting to protect itself. Now that I know you didn't experience brain damage, I know for sure that he reason you've been out is purely neurological." He said.
"Can it happen again?" Patrick asked worriedly.
"It can if she has another serious panic attack." Dr. Throne said.
"Usually we can calm her down before the get that bad. Nobody knew she was having one until my friend heard her fall. By then, it was too late." Patrick said.
"It's very well possible that that could happen again. I think it's best, Tori, if you start to take to anxiety pills. They'll help keep you calm when situations get to stressful." The doctor said.
"You're not medicated her. She's not crazy." Patrick snapped.
"That's not what I'm saying." The doctor told him.
I thought of the agony of the past ten days. I hated that. Patrick sobbing, being blind, wondering if I was dead. I didn't want to go through that again.
"Go ahead." I said. "Give me some pills."
Sorry, that was short. But I need to sleep. Goodnight!
Love you all!
-Amy
YOU ARE READING
The Mighty Fall (sequel to Miss Missing You)
RandomHow the mighty fall. The mighty fall. The mighty fall. Oh how the mighty fall in love. Patrick and Tori are safe and sound in Hawaii with their friends. Their friends, and Patricks pregnant ex wife. Tori isn't handling things well, and she knows...
