Daydreams

Stay

It's mind over matter. I didn't need to think about the test results or the way he looked. All that mattered was that he would make it through. It's mind over matter. That's what I kept telling myself.

His breathing was gentle and slow. I pulled my hand away from his forehead. My arms stayed stiff at my side as my sobs started to slip out. Tears poured down my face and I became a wreck at his bedside. My whole body ached.

There was a soft knock on the door and it began to open. I quickly silenced my sobs and dried the tears from my face. Levi walked in slowly with a schoolbag slung over his shoulder. My heart ached even more at the sight of him.

Levi was a glorious manifestation of perfection in its only human form. His tousled blonde hair was a halo above his face, an image of pure beauty. He wore glasses over his tired, sapphire blue eyes. His skin was perfect, without a single blemish or millimeter of hair. He was tall and lean, wearing converse, skinny jeans, a band t-shirt, and a cardigan.

He closed the door gently and rushed to my side, dropping his schoolbag on the floor. Books on veterinary medicine fell out from the classes at Cornell that he had just left. He was infinitely smarter than I could ever dream of being, and so compassionate. He brushed his hand gently over Harper's forehead.

Harper was the spitting image of his father, Levi. He was just as optimistic, and smiled just as much. He was my sunshine after Levi and I went our separate ways. Everyone was in a better mood when Harper was around. He was the sweetest 3-year-old a person could ever meet.

"How long ago did he fall asleep?" Levi asked with that perfectly smooth voice of his.

"Ten or fifteen minutes," I croaked, sobs lingering in my voice.

Levi looked at me, concerned. "Are you alright?" he asked.

I looked down. "My son is in the hospital with really bad pneumonia, what do you think?"

"He'll get better," Levi promised.

"He can barely breathe, Levi!" I yelled.

"He's breathing fine right now," Levi contradicted.

"So what?" I snapped.

Harper moved, aroused from sleep by my yelling. He started to inhale deeply, but cut off and started coughing. Levi pulled him up into a sitting position and patted his back while he coughed. A frown tugged at my lips, but I did my best to stay composed. If it was mind over matter, Harper needed to see me as an optimistic mother, not as a nervous wreck. He needed to feel like he had a shot, too.

"Hi Daddy," he said in a hoarse voice.

"Hey buddy, how do you feel?" Levi asked.

"I'm okay," Harper said.

"Are you sure? You feel a little warm," Levi said.

Harper nodded slowly. "I'm okay," he said again.

I grabbed his hand and squeezed it. "Be honest, honey. The doctors can't give you the right medicine if you don't tell the truth about how you feel," I told him.

Harper hesitated for a few seconds. "I feel the same as yesterday," he said finally.

"Lay back down," Levi told him. "Do you want anything to eat or drink?"

"Water," Harper said. "Icy cold, please."

"Alright," Levi said. He left the room to get Harper's water.

"Mommy, why do you look sad?" Harper asked.

I looked at him in shock. "W-what? I'm not sad, honey. I just wish you would get better faster. It's taking a long time, that's all," I said.

Harper frowned. "I'm sorry, Mommy," he said.

"Don't be! It isn't your fault! It's just like that sometimes, that's all. You'll get better," I told him, feigning a smile.

"What if I'm sick forever?" he asked.

"That won't happen," I told him with certainty. I felt his forehead, and it was burning. "Stop worrying. You'll get better and everything will be back to normal again," I said.

"Okay, Mommy," he agreed easily.

Levi walked back in the room with a cup of ice water. He sat it on the table beside Harper's bed and helped him sit up. He stacked pillows behind Harper's back for support, and brought the glass to his lips. Harper drank it slowly, but when he stopped, it was almost half gone already. He slid the covers off of him and threw his legs over the edge of his bed.

"What are you doing, Harper?" Levi asked.

"I have to go potty," he answered.

"Do you need help?"

"I'm okay," Harper said, continuing to the bathroom.

When he closed the door, I waited for the fan to turn on before I spoke. Looking at Levi, I stood up and put my hands in my pants pockets. I kept them close to me so I could stop myself from becoming too upset if it got that way.

"I can't afford these bills, Levi," I told him.

"I know, and I'm trying to get more hours. My boss can only give me twenty-five at the most though, and that's pushing it. He doesn't need more help," Levi said, dejected.

"It's fine, just give me whatever you can," I said, looking at the floor.

He put his hand on the side of my face, and my heart throbbed with pain. "I really wish I could help more," he said quietly.

"It's not your fault. You have vet school to pay for, I get it," I reassured him.

"No, I really wish I could be there for you," he said, hinting at something more.

My cheeks flushed. "I don't need someone else in my life," I said, backing away from him so that his hand fell from my face.

"You look like you do," he said.

"How is that?" I spat.

"You're taking this really hard. Harper will be okay, because he's got a wonderful mother like you at his side 24/7," Levi said.

"What difference does it make? I have to go back to work as of tomorrow and he'll be all alone," I said, my voice cracking.

Levi hugged me suddenly. I froze in shock at his embrace. Tears started falling from my eyes again. I raised my arms slowly and wrapped them around his waist. He held me tighter.

"I love you so much, Aurora. I can't stand to see you like this," he said, his voice cracking as well.

I closed my eyes and buried my face in his shoulder. "I love you, too," I sobbed.

He held me for what felt like forever. When he pulled away, I grabbed his hands. His eyes were red and wet. He squeezed my hands and sniffed.

"Stay with me," I whispered.

He cracked a breathtaking smile. "Always," he said.

I saw movement in my peripheral vision, and I turned my head. Harper was standing in the bathroom doorway watching us. He had the biggest grin on his face. For the first time since becoming ill, he was genuinely happy.

"You love each other again!" he exclaimed.

He ran to us and hugged our legs. We were a happy family once again.