The Worst of Us

Shut the Front Door!

"So, what now?"

Autumn turned her head to look at me, cheek resting against her mattress. After we kissed, Autumn got me a cup of tea and we watched a show together on her bed.

It was only half an hour long, and I couldn't really bring myself to pay attention. Not in the last place because freaking Autumn, freaking Autumn who was holding my hand and had just kissed me, was right next to me. It still hadn't completely registered yet. I felt like I was floating in a dream.

... But I was also distracted because I'd left more messes behind.

I'd still have to somehow make things right with Bailey and Farah. Especially Bailey. I didn't know if she'd ever forgive me. Not only for missing her birthday, but for lying about it in favour of someone she hated.

"Celia?"

Autumn snapped me out of my pondering. She propped herself up on her elbows to look at my face better.

"What are you frowning about?"

If I said nothing, Autumn was only going to call me out on my bullshit so, I sighed deeply to show my dismay.

"I was thinking how I'd be able to make things go back to the way they were, with Farah and Bailey," I said. "Usually I'd be at Bailey's house right now, playing board games with her, Farah, and maybe Spencer... I doubt I'm invited now, though."

"So?" Autumn asked.

She tilted her head to the side, a playful smile playing on her lips. "Certainly, popular Celia does not wait for an invitation. She goes where she pleases."

I chuckled, thinking it was a joke, but Autumn didn't laugh along. A few seconds later it dawned on me that she meant it, and I stopped laughing. I pulled a face at Autumn to show my hesitance. 

"I don't know," I said. "I don't think I can... do that? I don't want to ruin her evening."

"Hey, maybe you'll ruin her evening a little. But she's not going to forgive you if you don't talk to her either," Autumn pointed out. "If you want to save your friendships, the worst you can do right now is stay quiet. She'll think you don't care."

"You think so...?"

Autumn gently poked me between the ribs, making me wiggle. "Yes, obviously. I would've thought you didn't care if you never contacted me again, and we wouldn't be here on the bed together. Think about it."

I thought about it. It made sense. If I got mad at someone and they didn't even attempt to make it right, I probably would assume they'd moved on and no longer wanted to be friends with me. And if I had reason to be mad, I probably wouldn't try to talking to them on my own accord either. 

"... I already told Mom I was going to Bailey's game evening anyway," I said, thinking out loud. "I might as well actually go."

Autumn reached for my hand, giving it a little squeeze. Butterflies flitted in my stomach at the sweet gesture. It turned into a butterfly storm when she also smiled at me.

"I know you can do it," she encouraged me. "Go, and call me when you're on your way home, alright? And we'll see each other tomorrow again."

"Yeah," I breathed.

At the door Autumn pressed a gentle kiss to my lips, wished me luck one last time, and then I was alone again and on my way to Bailey's house.

I'd honestly already had my share of excitement for the day. This morning I started single, this afternoon I had a boyfriend, and by evening I had already dumped him and found a girlfriend. It was enough to make anyone's mind reeling, but I was strangely calm now.

I had Autumn now. If everything went wrong at Bailey's house and she screamed at me to get out, I had somewhere to go. I had someone to call. I had Autumn on my side, despite having done all these stupid things over the past few weeks.

It was enough to make me keep going, straighten my back, and finally press Bailey's doorbell.

I heard someone running to the door a few seconds later, knowing it was probably either Bailey or one of her brothers. All the kids in her family seemed to run a lot indoors. I breathed in and out deeply, bracing myself for standing face to face with an upset Bailey.

When the door swung open, Bailey appeared in the door opening with a wide, inviting smile that dropped immediately when she saw it was me.

"Why are you here?" she asked. "Shouldn't you be at Jasmine's?"

Okay, this wasn't as bad as I'd expected. Bailey hadn't started screaming at me immediately. I shrugged shyly.

"Actually, I was hoping we could talk, and maybe I could join the game night with you and Farah."

Bailey eyebrows pulled together and she crossed her arms. "I don't think so," she bit. "And if you have anything to say to me, you can do it outside. What do you want?"

"Bailey! We've already started the game!" Farah called out from the living room.

"Bailey, come back!" One of her little brothers added over dramatically. 

Bailey glanced over her shoulder.

"Well?" she asked. 

I took a deep breath. "I just wanted to apologise for being stupid," I said. "I'm sorry I left your birthday party for Jasmine's. I should've never done it and... if it's any consolation: Jasmine's party sucked."

Bailey pressed her lips together. "It's no consolation," she said stubbornly. "You're going to have to come with a better apology."

"Like... telling Spencer to ask you out?" I tried, hoping fiercely that it'd already happened.

It seemed my gamble would pay off. Bailey's eyebrows shot up in utter surprise.

"How did you know?"

"Because I told him to stop beating around the bush to finally ask you out when I saw him in school yesterday?" I replied. "Ask him. I gave him a little push."

I had a foot in the door now. Bailey's expression shifted slightly. She didn't look so mad anymore. Doubt flickered in her eyes. She wondered if she should hear me out, I could see it.

"Please, Bailey, I'm really sorry," I repeated. "I'm not going to hang out with her again. Or Jem. I'm no longer with him because... It turned out I had stronger feelings for someone else."

Bailey had always been a curious person. I could see her trying to fight it because she wanted to stay mad at me, but she gave in pretty quickly.

"Who?" she  asked, utterly unable to contain her curiosity.

I smiled. "Autumn."

Bailey had not expected that answer. Her eyes bulged out of her head. Her jaw literally dropped in shock.

"Shut the front door!" she called out, doing the exact opposite by opening the door a little further. "What!"

"Autumn," I repeated. "I know, I reacted the same way you did when I realised it. But... I've been really stupid, chasing something I shouldn't have been chasing. I went for all the wrong people and I should've remembered you and Farah are my real friends."

Bailey sniffed. "Damn right we are your real friends! Don't ever forget it again."

"You mean..." I swallowed, hoping her words meant what I thought they meant. She'd called us friends in the present tense, not past. "Does that mean I can come in?"

Bailey side-eyed me, but finally stepped aside, inviting me in.

"Fine," she said. "Don't think you're forgiven already, but I want to know everything that really happened with Jem, Autumn, and those other girls. And how you realised that you wanted to date Autumn instead. After that, I'll think about it."

I let out a laugh in sheer relief as I stepped inside Bailey's house after her.

"Yeah, that's fair," I replied. "I hope you and Farah have time, because it's a long, strange story."